Our ANZAC In The Attic

• Chapter 22 •

{ Lucy Hamilton }
"It's been a year since Shearer proposed," I looked up at Cassie who had Alistair on her lap. She smiled sympathetically, "happy anniversary,"
"Thanks, it's such a beautiful day, a perfect day for a wedding," I sighed, letting the grass run through my fingers.
I laid back in the soft clover, watching the clouds race through the spring sky. I closed my eyes and imagined the dress that hung in my cupboard flowing down my legs and flowers scattered through my hair. Today I would have danced around the Hillford Hall as the wind blew through the trees and laughter could be heard for miles.
"Lucy, who's Shearer's next of kin?" Cassie asked, handing Alistair a piece of bread. I sat up, "because we aren't married, his mother I guess," I said. Cassie sighed, "these are for you," she handed me two sheets of paper.
"What are these?" I questioned.
"Certificates' of marriage, I know how much you wanted a big white wedding and when Shearer comes home we'll celebrate, but for now, of you want any input in his affairs, I would sign them and become Mrs Shearer and his next of kin," she seemed hesitant and her speech sounded as if she had rehearsed it over and over in her head. I could tell she was anxious to hear my reply and to see my reaction, in all honestly I was shocked. I hadn't even thought of his next of kin but thankfully Cassie had.
I felt my nose start to prickle and before I burst into tears I flung my arms around her neck, "thank you Cassie what did I ever do to deserve you?" The cliché line made her smile.
-
That night, I had offered to look after Trevor, James and Lincoln, Shearer's little brothers. Mrs Shearer was going down to Adelaide to inquire about John's sentence and his payment. They were quiet boys, very placid and sweet, they loved sport Lincoln would always inform me on the latest cricket scores as James did the footy but Trevor loved to read, he wasn't like his brothers who found learning and reading almost impossible, oh no, he could read for Australia, if that was a thing.
"G'day Lucy!" Trevor ran inside, wrapping his arms around my legs.
"Hello little one," I ruffled his hair.
"Hello Lucy," James kissed my cheek, "hey James how are you?"
"I'm well," he smiled bending down to Alistair who clapped happily on the floor.
"Now Lucy, I thought you'd be able to talk to Lincoln, I can't get anything out of him at the moment and I'm worried something is wrong," Mrs Shearer informed.
"I'll see what I can do, g'day Linc," I told her as Lincoln walked past me.
16 year old Lincoln shot me a small smile before making his way to the fire, he sat down facing it, his eyes fixed on the flames. I furrowed my eyebrows, "what's wrong with Lincoln?" I whispered to James.
"Dunno, every night he just stares at the fire and no one really knows why," he explained. I rose to my feet, "Righto boys do you want to take Alistair into the kitchen and set the table for me?"
"Okay Lucy," Trevor grinned. I watched as the two boys picked up the baby and took him into the kitchen.
I sat down beside him, the warmth of the fire caressing my bare legs, "you know they say if you stare at a flame for long enough you'll see your future," I informed.
Lincoln didn't reply, he just closed his eyes.
"Why'd you close your eyes Lincoln?" I asked softly.
"Because I don't want to see my future," he bit his lip.
"Lincoln what's the matter?" I was starting to get concerned. Lincoln was quiet before he fell into my chest, "I miss them so much Lucy, I want my brothers back, I'm not the eldest yet I was thrown into the position faster than I had even time to think about it, Lucy I'm so frightened, I'm so worried, I never sleep, I never eat what do I do Lucy what do I do?!" he cried desperately.
I breathed out a heavy breath and caressed his head, "you've got to stay strong, your brothers are going to come home, all you have to do is stay strong for your mum and me and all your brothers, here and on Gallipoli," I held him close. Lincoln looked up at me, his dark eyes were sad, his black hair lay limp upon his brow, "this is the letter Shearer sent me, I got it maybe 2 weeks ago," he handed the crumpled piece of paper to me.
'My sweet brother,
How are you Lincoln? Hope you're well, I miss you very much and can't wait to kick the footy with you again soon.
Don't worry about me, I'm doing alright, very tired but always smiling.
I miss your smile little mate.
16, a young man, you're very special Lincoln, you are going to go further than any of us. You have already proven it, I'm sorry I can't be there but I'm always thinking of you and can't wait to meet the man you've become.
Hope you're looking after Mum, Luce and baby Alistair. I'm sure you are and don't worry I'll be home before you know it.
I miss being able to share my thoughts with you mate, it gets lonely here, I miss being able to talk to someone like me.
Every night little brother, sit in front of the fire and tell me what you see, what wood burns? What do you look for when you stare into the flames? Send me your thoughts Linc, I can't wait to hear them.
I shall send you mine, maybe I'll calm down a little knowing someone is listening. Gotta go make someone laugh, I'll write when I can, love your brother Shearer.'
I pulled Lincoln a little tighter, before looking back into the fire.
"I haven't been able to think Luce, I haven't written anything to him," Lincoln's eyes focused back onto the fire.
"Well lets write," I stood up and pulled the pencil and paper from the mantle. I returned to my spot on the floor, "ok Lincoln tell me what see?" I said.
Lincoln whispered, "I see flames, they're not angry though, they're comforting, they make me feel safe, like he is right beside me,"
Surprised by his reply I asked, "what are you looking for?"
His eyes met mine, a tear rolled down his cheek and he said;
"Hope,"