Falling

Chapter 1

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Don't fall for his smile. Don't fall for his laugh. Don't fall for his looks. Don't fall for his words. They're all lies. Nothing is true. They're all lying. Don't give in to them.

Kei took a peek over at the other courts and saw Kuroo talking to Kenma and the other Nekoma volleyball club members. He had a grin on his face and his laugh echoed through the gym, resonating in Kei's head.

They were in the middle of training camp and Kei could not help but let his mind drift off to a certain senior that irritated him to no end. No matter how irritating, Kei couldn't hate him. The feeling that caused his chest to tighten and his eyes to light up when they talk.

No. Kei had to constantly stop himself. They were both guys. Even if by some miracle Kuroo had liked him too, they were so far apart. They were 300 kilometres, at least three hours by train and a hundred dollars away from each other. Long distance is a killer for relationships. Even worse if the relationship hasn't even taken off yet.

Communication is key but Kei isn't the talkative sort. Or maybe he was and just hadn't met the right person yet.

Nope. He's not a talkative sort. Seeing Kuroo converse with his team mates and his own team mates made him feel so tired. He couldn't understand how much energy one person can have to tolerate so many people at once. His best friend, Yamaguchi, knew how much Kei did not like small talk. Usually filling their silences with random chatter, knowing that Kei would not reply for something small. It was fine. It was just their relationship.

However, seeing Kuroo be so happy laughing with his friends made Kei jealous. He is happy for Kuroo, it seemed like he was having fun but the thought of him being with someone else, someone else making him happy, instead of Kei, was torture.

Kei did not know this part of him. He had never imagined himself as the possessive sort. He had never been in a relationship either, the thought of love still new to him.

If this was love, Kei did not want to feel it again.

It hurts.

It isn't like the movies. It isn't like how anyone had described it to him. It wasn't butterflies in his stomach. It wasn't love at first sight. It wasn't romantic. It wasn't reciprocated.

It is the chest tightening sensation. It is brain wrecking thoughts. It is the want to have his all but can't. It is the need to feel him close but not being able to touch.

"Tsukki! Let's practice!" Kuroo had called over to him. Kei could see Hinata's jealous glance.

"I'll pass." Kei said as he walked away. He needed to get out. He needed to clear his head. Get the thoughts of Kuroo away before his whole life gets eaten up by him.

It was dinner time but Kei did not feel like eating. He wasn't hungry and went straight to the shared room. He took his futon out and lay there thinking. Sorting out all the thoughts, the memories, all into neat folders in his head. Once he was sure he had put everything back into place, he started drifting off to sleep.

All at once his thoughts were a mess again. He had started dreaming of Kuroo. His smiles. The way he talks. Even if he is a little cocky at times. The way his eyes gleamed when going for a spike.

What would it feel wrapped in those long arms. Kei has always been tall. Kuroo's almost as tall as him. But compared to Kei, Kuroo was more muscular, his shoulders were broader. His figure as a whole could swallow Kei up in an instant. The warmth enveloping him, Kuroo's lips lightly pressed against his skin. No matter where. His hand, check, nose, lips, neck. Kei wanted everything.