When Carter had gotten back to Avengers Tower, he went straight up to his room. He shut the door and sat on his bed overlooking New York. His heart was broken, but the feeling of being broken wasn't new to him. Carter rubbed his face before clenching his fists tightly. Carter thought of Luke, of Jessica and his life before he was recruited for the Avengers. He wasn't himself before the incident and he knew it was haunting him, always in the back of his mind. He couldn't figure out why the image of it still stuck with him, but he felt guilty. He was guilty. He was guilty of a lot of things including killing his own mother that was covered up by Shield.
Carter groaned as he fell back on his bed. He hated everything to do with the world. He hated being apart of a team, he hated being around these people. They treated him like a kid and he was twenty two years old. It wasn't just their faults though, Carter sometimes acted like a child, and he knew it. He was just a hollow shell now, he had no purpose in life anymore. While Carter fell asleep, Natasha and Steve opened his door a crack and peeked in.
"He's not doing well." Natasha whispered. "He's feeling lost." Steve looked at her carefully. The two taking Carter under their wing and noticed the changes occuring. He wasn't the man that he had been when they had first met him. He was breaking down, and not in a good way. The two hoped that he would eventually be okay, but they knew that he would possibly never heal, his visable wounds yes but his emotional wounds were there to stay.
Natasha stood by his door for a few more moments as she watched him sleep. The young boy needed someone to believe in him and she was his person. She was his go to for anything. It broke her heart that she couldn't help him get through this. She could only watch as Carter broke down emotionally and she couldn't do anything about it. Carter didn't accept help. He was an adult, he needed a push to get it through his thick skull that he needed help. Carter Tate was a timebomb and he was going to explode one day. Maybe not today, or tomorrow, but eventually he was and she did not want to watch him go through that alone.
Natasha walked into his room and moved over to the side of his bed. The boy falling asleep on his duvet, and not under the covers like he usually did. His forehead had no creases on them and he finally looked peaceful. He didn't look stressed nor did he look stressed. She watched him snore until she saw him shiver. His shirtless torso filling with goosebumps so she grabbed the blanket at the end of his bed, and draped it over him. He sighed in contentment before snuggling back into his bed.
"Sleep well Carter."
||
Carter was running. He heard his mothers screams before he yelled out, "Mom!" Carter whirled around in confusion. "Carter." He heard the whisper around him as he spun again. He held his head with both hands as he let out an agitated yell. His body became riggid as he fell to his knees. He opened his mouth, but nothing came out. He then felt a hand on his shoulder, and he turned falling on his butt at the same time. He saw his mother, with harsh burns all over her body. His eyes grew wide with terror as he realized this is what he had feared.
His greatest fear was hurting those who he loved, he would only hurt them in the end and it haunted him...even if his nightmares.
Carter awoke suddenly. He breathed in deep as he looked down and saw the blanket covering his lower body. Natasha...
Carter ran a hand down his face before sitting against his head board. He had always tried to put up a happy front to the team, but sometimes he just couldn't do it. He spent his nights crying or just staring out the windows in his room. He hated feeling alone, it ate him alive and if he was being honest, he hated being alone.
Carter couldn't figure out his purpose, his purpose in life, he didn't know what his purpose was. Was he supposed to help people? Or was he supposed to do something else? Who was he here for? What was the universes plan for him.
Carter turned and set his feet on the cold floor of his room, his curtins tried to block out the sun, but they failed. The sun was creeping little by little, his morning started at eleven am usually. Tony tried to let him sleep as much as possible. The boy needed his sleep due to the nightmares that plagued him at night. The nightmare he had last night was the first in a week. If Carter kept busy, he wasn't bothered.
Carter smiled softly at the hustle and bustle of New York, he loved this city, especially at night when everything was lit up. Carter stood up and made his way to the big windows, and put his hand on the glass. He bit his lip, before hearing his door open slightly.
"Carter?" Natasha moved to be further into his room, he turned around to face her with a slight smile. "How are you feeling today?" She questioned holding a bowl of captain crunch cereal for him, "Better. Thanks for bringing me breakfast." Carter grabbed the bowl from her. "You're welcome. Make sure your outfit is ready for the party tonight." He nodded, "Promise I won't show up late."
"You better not, or I will come up and kick your ass."
Carter let out a small chuckle. He knew she really would come up and kick his ass. She was his sparring partner anyways, they always fought with each other. She was like a mother figure to him and he loved her for taking him under her wing. Same went for Steve and Clint, the two older males really embraced Carter and he was grateful for it. He truly was grateful for everything they had done for him, Tony, Bruce, and the rest of Shield had been nothing but great to him.
He regretted a lot of his things in his past, and he didn't want to hurt any of them, but he couldn't ignore the thoughts in his head. His head ached whenever he used his powers, and the thought of merely thinking about destroying the only people he loved broke him. Carter ate his cereal quietly as he heard the commotion down stairs. The planners were here and he could hear the hustle and bustle of them moving around. He walked towards the door with the empty cereal bowl, and walked down to the end of the hallway.
He smirked as he heard Tony yelling at the decorators. "No not there. No not there." Was repeating as Carter walked down the stairs. The planners were running around like chickens with their head cuts off, "Tony go easy on them." He laughed as Tony turned around, "Ah kid you're awake. Tell me how that looks."
The couches were moved for guests and even more tables were added. "It looks fine. You know we won't be doing much sitting right?"
"Oh I know its just for pleasing the eye." Tony winked at the Inhuman, before Carter set his bowl in the sink. "Anything you do will look fine Tony, but I'm ready to get drunk." Carter chuckled, hearing Tony's gasp, "Kid you are not drinking a ton."
"Yes I am."
"No you are not."
"Yes I am."
"Ugh no you aren't."
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sirens↠ wanda maximoff
Fanfiction"Don't fight it, it will only make things worse." || Carter Tate was completely alone. When he was eighteen years old he had destroyed the only person he had ever loved. His mother had died because of him. Carter was a time bomb with only limited a...
