The Bad Boy's Nanny

Ch. 48 - Let It Go

"Are you going home for Christmas?"

"I haven't even had time to think about it," I answer. "Things are so hectic at the hospital right now."

Elliott sighs. "Ivy! It's Christmas! You have to be with your family."

"I know, I know." I take a sip of my coffee before setting the mug back on the table and adjusting the phone to my other ear. "It's just kind of up in the air where everyone will be. Nora is spending Christmas with Flynn's family, and I don't know if Vic and Jackie would be able to make it back from Norway in time. Jett might just come to stay with me during his break, but he also wants to go on a skiing trip with his friends."

"Okay, well, as long as you're not sitting in your apartment alone watching a Home Alone marathon all night."

I hold back a smile. "How'd you know that was always my favorite way to celebrate holidays growing up?"

"Alright, Ivy, we get it. You had a rough childhood. Put a damper on some other conversation," he teases, comfortable with me in a way he hadn't been in years.

Elliott and I have been spending a lot of time together over the past few weeks. Whether we're texting, talking, or just grabbing lunch together, we've been together. Most days it feels like those five years were spent together, not alone. There are days when Elliott or I will bring up something we had done in those years that neither of us knew about, and the mood shifts to one more somber. Even so, I like spending time with him. Each day, we're working closer to a better friendship.

Of course I still have feelings for him, but I've been doing a very good job with keeping my feelings under wraps. We've managed to avoid any conversations about what we're doing and we expect from our friendship. For now, we're just enjoying the time we have together and making up for all we lost.

Regarding his comment, I stick out my tongue, even though he can't see my face. "I'm ending this call now. Bye, Liott. I'll call you after work, okay?"

"Sounds good. Bye, Ives. I love you."

My jaw drops along with my stomach when I register what he just said to me. The call ends. He said it so quickly, like an after-thought or something as such. I can imagine he is as panicked as I am right now. "I love you." Shit.

So much for our platonic friendship.

The whole time at work I can't stop thinking about those three words. There was a time when all I wanted from Elliott was for him to tell me he loved me. Now? This is the worst case scenario. He still needs time to get over Evelyn and their relationship. It's too soon. I don't want to have any awkwardness between us yet.

But, in a way, I knew it was bound to happen eventually. We couldn't just keep up the constant texting and talking without defining what is going on. I obviously would hope Elliott is on board with a relationship, but maybe it's best if we just remained friends. I know, we tried it once before, and it ended with heartbreak all over again. We're older and more mature now, however. I'm sure we'll be able to figure things out.

After work, I drive over to Flynn's with Elm. Since he and Nora left for Oregon today, he wanted me to spend the night at his apartment to be company for his hamster, Frog, who apparently has separation anxiety. It's dark outside by now, and the streets are dimly lit. The snow was only lightly falling when I got to the apartment, but now it's really coming down heavily.

Elliott has been staying at Flynn's for the weeks that Evelyn kicked him out of his own apartment. He feels guilty making her leave, since he's the one that broke up with her.

I sit on the couch and wrap a blanket around me, turning on the TV to ABC's 25 Days of Christmas special. A Christmas Story is on, and I entertain myself with the movie for awhile until I get a call from Elliott.