Chapter 52 - In which I have a Weasley-filled start to summer

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There's only one more day of this hell and then I can leave, free to do whatever I wish. I have no guardian, I have no family, I have no one. There is nothing and no one holding me back anymore. My entire life, I've been dreaming about such a day. 

But then why do I feel like simultaneously screaming and bursting into tears? 

Screwing my socks up into a tight ball, I throw it against the wall. It's not fair. It's not fair at all and I just want to yell at someone until I'm so tired that I can barely talk. I want answers. I want... I want my family back. 

My hands ball into tight fists, as I consider punching something. It's a stupid, pathetic wish, a child's wish. How could I possibly want the man who destroyed everything I know to come back into my life? But how could he even walk out of my life without so much as a glance back at me? Do I mean that little to him? 

Scoffing, I dump another couple of books in my trunk. Of course I mean nothing to him, he wouldn't have done what he did if he had even the shred of love for me in his heart. Maybe he doesn't have a heart. That seems quite logical since there's no one else I've ever seen him care about out. Well no one but himself. 

And despite his many flaws, one thing you cannot deny - much like you, he is fiercely loyal to those he cares about. You are one of the few he cares about. 

My eyes shut as I try to block out the memory. He's wrong. Dumbledore was wrong. Dumbledore has never been so wrong about someone before and it's cost him everything. It's cost me everything. Snape doesn't care about me. He's not capable of caring about anyone. He wouldn't have betrayed me like this if he cared. He wouldn't have just left without an explanation. He would... he would have tried to contact me to see if I am okay. But he hasn't done any of that. 

Severus Snape does not care about me.

Anger boils in my blood as I can't help but snarling. Who is he not to care about me anyways? What happened to all the false promises about how he made a vow to my father? What happened to all the childhood memories I have with him? What happened to the man who cared enough about me to give me daily potions to subside my nightmares and stay up with me waiting for me to fall asleep again? Where is that man? 

Where is my guardian?

It hurts. It hurts so much to see him like this. It hurts to know that he isn't hurting at all knowing that he's all but broken me. 

Bad fortune just seems to run in my family. Or maybe it's just me. Maybe  I really was cursed as a child to just lose everyone I call family. It's funny, I've never really felt like an orphan. Yes I had no parents, or any extended family, but I always had Snape. He was always there for me. He helped me learn how to write, he taught me muggle mundane things like how to ride a bike, he made sure I was always well fed and healthy. He was my home. 

Throughout all of our arguments, I still knew in the back of my mind that eventually one of us would let go of our pride and seek the other. I knew we would still have each other's back. I knew that no matter what, we didn't really mean anything we said to each other. Because at the end of the day, he is all I have and I am all he has. Or that is we were. 

For the first time in my life, I truly know what it feels like to be alone.

Tears prickle my eyes as my bottom lip quivers uncontrollable. Taking a deep shaky breath, I close my eyes and attempt to count to ten. One, two, three, four... It's no use. Before I can stop myself, a sob escapes me and I sink to the ground. 

Loud, unnerving sobs rack my body as I mentally plea for some help. Screwing my eyes shut I look up to the ceiling, my body shaking as each sob becomes harder than the previous.

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