RUYI

119 - Sadness

My hair turning white was not the only thing that resulted from poisoning. Holding my small baby, I look sadly at the sightless gray gaze. The same eyes like the Prince but instead of the intense dark stormy color, the beautiful gray color was frosted.

"I'm sorry..."

I held the baby - my baby, to my heart and buried my lips against his cheek. The soft sweet sound he made broke my heart. The soft cold touch of his tiny hands broke my soul. Because of me, my child was born blind. Because of me, my child body born colder than ice.

"Ruyi..."

I was too ashamed to look at the Prince beside me. My child - his child, I have failed to protect my own child when he was living inside me.

"Don't pull away from me"

The Prince scolded me as he wrapped an arm around my shoulders, pressing me to his warm chest. Trembling, I could only buried my tears into his warmth.

"Don't cry" The Prince pressed his lips on top of my head while his arm tightened around my shoulders. "Look, our son can sense your sadness"

True to the Prince's words, the baby begin to cry.

"Sorry" I quickly rocked the crying baby until he fall asleep.

Watching his frosted gray eyes closed, my heart ached painfully.

"It's my fault"

Startled, I looked up at the Prince who was looking at the baby with guilt. In silence, the Prince touched the baby's cold cheek.

"I have failed to protect you..."

I wasn't sure if the Prince was talking to me or the baby.

"Do you hate me?"

His eyes lifted from the child to me. Why is he asking me that? Why would I hate him?

"Jian"

I buried my face back to his chest and held our child close while his arms surround us.

"Ruyi could never hate Jian..."

"Ruyi..." He said softly against my hair. "You'll stay with me?"

Where else would I go?

"You'll stay with me?" He repeated.

I nodded.

"Jian..." I lifted my head to look into his dark eyes. "Do you hate Ruyi... because of Ruyi, the baby_"

"Juyi"

I was confused. Juyi?

"Our son's name" The Prince smiled softly at me. "Juyi... do you like it?"

Juyi - Enormous Joy.

"Juyi..." Tears fall as I called out to the sleeping baby in my arms.

When the Prince kiss my head, I leaned against him even more. Sadness - I prayed my little Juyi will never know the word.