When?

1." Hey, Jude".

My life had always been a series of whens; when is the right time? When should I do this? When should I keep quite? When should I speak up? When should I fight? When should I let go? It's one when, after the other, and sometimes, you grow tired of always having to plan ahead, always knowing what you'll do, and when you'll do it. It makes life dull, tasteless, colorless. This isn't in any way exaggerating because what if I work against the plan? What if I want to do something at the wrong time, experiment even, make a fucking mistake? I'll tell you why, because I'm too scared, too unprepared to face the consequences, so I wait. I run. I deny. I pretend. That's what I do best, really.

My mind begins to wonder, exploring all the closed doors at the back of my mind, digging all the forgotten memories, all the unleashed regrets, when her ringtone flinches me back to life; count on me by Bruno Mars. Her favorites song, bringing a foolish smile to my face, followed by a regretful frown. Another one of my postponed whens.

" Heyo," She speaks, her voice cheerful, so full of life.

" Hey, Jude." And I could have sworn I heard the smirk in her voice, because of her favorite Beattle's song that conveniently fits her name.

" Alright, alright, before you start singing the song, I wanted to tell you that I can't come over tonight."

" Let me guess, going out with your dick of a boyfriend?" My eyebrows cross forming into a frown, as I release a groan that goes unnoticed by her.

" Ha, ha, very funny. But yes, he's taking me out for dinner." She says, squealing a little, as I hear her clapping, probably jumping up and down a little. It's annoying really how I know her that well.

" Woohoo." I fake my enthusiasm, but yet again, she takes it as a joke -which it isn't- and falls into a fit of giggles.

" We need to get you a girl, Harry, you're too unsociable for my liking." She says, and I find myself picturing her, crossing her arms against her chest, puffing her hair locks out of her hazel eyes. I find the all too familiar lump resurfacing in my throat, my hands sweating in panic.

" Uh, no thank you. I'm good." I stutter, earning another "pfft" from her side.

" Whatever, I better start getting ready."

" Okay, but be careful, Judith, stay in public places, don't stay out too late, and always have some sort of self-protection with you." I remind her.

" Harold, he won't rape me." She answers, yet again.

" You better bet on it, if he ever lies a finger on you, I swear to God-"

" Jesus, Harry, I heard it all before. You'll kick him in his non-existent balls, then cut them off with rusted scissors, and throws them to the sharks, before beating him up so hard that he'd look like dog food that had been eaten, digested, and pooped. I get it." She states my exact same words, more or less, earning a chuckle from me.

" I'm just saying." I defend, as the sound of her laughter mingles with my own, causing me to stop laughing only to properly hear her.

" Alright, see you later, jackass." She curses way too much for a girl, sometimes, making me uncomfortable, but after 10 years of friendship, I somewhat got used to it.

" Bye, Judith." I say with a chuckle, disappointed as I hear the beep signaling that she had already hung up, before even hearing my words of goodbye. I groan, tossing my phone to the side, before burrying my face into my pillow. This is one of my whens that backfired at me, because now, it's just too late.

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A/N: Hey guys, this is an idea I'm trying out, hoping you'd like it, and whether you do or don't, please let me know! ily :)