My Older Brother

Chapter 6.

Maybe it was my emotions running high or me not fully comprehending what was going on but I stood, slowly, and staggered towards the window. My legs would wobble every few seconds almost giving out a couple times but I kept going. I sniffled as I struggled to open the window, holding back a wave of tears. I swung my legs over the ledge and dangled my legs for a couple of seconds as I took a deep breath. I pushed myself off, grabbing onto the tree branch as I climbed my way down. 

I hit the ground with a thump, wiping my hands on my pants. I creeped around the house since the living room lights were still on. As I passed the window I glanced in seeing Elliot sitting on the couch hunched over with his head in his hands. I looked away and started my walk down the dark road, which was only eliminated by the lamp post that gave off little light.

The warn summer air blew my hair around my face, but I didn't bother taming it. I was still wearing my black pyjama shorts and grey long sleeve. I wrapped my arms around my body trying to bring myself some comfort, although it did nothing to help.

I walked for a while longer until I reached my destination. I crawled my way through the hole in the fence watching for jagged edges. I kept walking until I reached my destination, falling to my knees in front of the headstone. 

Lillian Winters 

1967-2015

Loving mother, and wife 

I couldn't stop the tears from pouring down my face, as sobs wracked through my body. The dewy ground felt gross beneath my knees, and the air was turing colder making me shiver but I didn't pay any attention to that.

"I miss you mama" I managed to whisper. 

I cleared my throat wiping my eyes, but fresh tears replaced the old ones. 

"I would have helped to get more money. I would have sold my toys, I would have sold all my clothes. None of that matters to me, as long as you would have stayed." I said my voice horse,

"I would have sold everything I owned!" I sobbed, " I need my mom, I need another women in the house" I managed a small chuckle.

"Elliot said it was my fault, and I believe him, mama. I was so selfish that I hadn't noticed we were struggling, that you were dying in front of my very eyes! I should have done more! I was never enough, You should be here not me!" 

I lungs felt like they were slowing closing as I tired to gulp more air. The cemetery was silent aside from my heaving breathing and sobs. 

"Im so sorry" I whispered, "Im so so sorry"

I repeated it over and over, putting my head in my hands as I leaned forward rocking myself back and forth. 

I was a disappointment. Everyone could see it. I was just so damn blind. I squeezed my head tighter as the words seemed to play on repeat in my mind.

Disappointment. Disappointment. Disappointment.

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Hey guys!!!! Im so sorry it took forever to get this chapter up.

I was having some severe writers block. 

WARNING I'm now going to be writing the chapters shorter (Around this length maybe longer), maybe not always but they won't be as long as some other books.

please vote and comment! I love your feedback <3

If you have any suggestions feel free to comment :)

Love you all!

Also someone suggested I write in Elliot's pov and I was thinking that at the end of this book I would write some bonus chapters in Elliot's pov from past chapters. Tell me what you all think about that :)