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Jackson:

I looked through the shelves and several different plush toys and pieces of clothing for babies while I thought about what I could buy for my baby girl. Christmas was coming soon and I wanted to get her something.

Of course, she wasn't born yet but it would be a cute gesture. I didn't really know what I should get for a baby. And that was the reason why I kept on walking through the small baby shop for nearly half an hour now. I just couldn't decide.

Actually, I could just grab something because I doubted that a newborn baby would be picky but I wanted to get her something which I liked, too. It should be a little connection between us and remind her of me.

I took a white teddy bear in my hands and looked at it. It had a pink bow around it's neck and it actually was cute but it was also very cliché. And I was also sure that other people would have the idea to buy a teddy bear, too.

I had also seen some cute dresses here but no one knew if they would fit my daughter. My mom hald told me that we shouldn't buy that much clothing before the baby was born because we didn't know what size she would need.

And therefore I was planning to get her a stuffed toy. She could cuddle with it when she was a bit older and sleep with it. Even I still had my first stuffed animal which was a turtle gifted to me by my grandfather.

If he knew about my current situation he would tell me to be a real man and accept the consequences of my mistakes and of course take responsibility for what I had done. He was a very wise man.

I looked at some little shoes but shook my head when I realised that the baby wouldn't need shoes in the beginning. I really hoped that no one in school would find out that I had bought a present for an unborn baby.

They would probably laugh at me for being too soft and I actually knew that I was slowly losing my toughness but I couldn't stop it. The imagination of a cute little baby with puppy eyes and chubby cheeks made me weak.

I had always had a soft spot for babies and little kids although I had never planned to become a father by myself. In the beginning I hadn't liked the fact to take responsibility for someone else but that had changed.

Mark had given his best to convince me that I could love our baby and he was successful. I loved my princess and I would give my best to become a good father although I knew that it would be very hard.

Normally, I would give a baby back to it's parents when it started to cry or got on my nerves but in this case I would be one of the parents to whom other people would give the baby back.

I feared that everything would be too much for me in the end. I was still a teenager and student. School was most important for me because I wanted to go to a good college and study there.

I loved my daughter with all my heart. She was the most important human in my life along with my parents but sometimes she was the reason that I had doubts that my future wouldn't be liked I wanted it.

I didn't mean to be heartless although it sounded like that. But I was still young and it was normal to have doubts. I knew that a lot of teenage fathers didn't show any interest in their children.

I didn't want to be one of them and I promised myself that I would never become one. Of course, I would move out when I went to college but that didn't mean I wouldn't come over to see the baby.

My parents actually expected move out together with Mark but I didn't want to live with him and the baby. I wanted to have an own life, have dates and invite girls over. And of course study without anything disturbing me.

But I would definitely make sure that Mark and I lived in the same part of the town or maybe even in the same street so I could visit my baby three or four times a week. That was my responsibility.

I knew a lot of people, including my mom and Namjoon, expected me and Mark to become a happy family but I didn't want a family at the moment and I also didn't want to have a relationship right now.

I was currently having a lot of dates with several cute girls. I liked them all but they knew that I wasn't looking for something serious. My life was good now and I wanted to enjoy my youth.

And if Mark and I worked together I would be able to live my life like I wanted it and be a father at the same time. I had thought about this topic a lot and it made me realize that I had forgotten some things before.

I had been in love with the baby and I still was but that love had stopped me from thinking of my own wishes and my plans for my future. I had thought about them now and was sure that I couldn't leave them behind.

I sighed and looked around when I finally spotted something interesting. It was a corner with some shelves with several stuffed animals on them and one of them immediately caught my attention.

I walked over to the shelf with the small stuffed puppies which were incredibly cute. One of them was golden and had big brown eyes. I took it in my hands and looked at it for a while.

It was soft and had the ideal size for a little baby to cuddle with it. Hopefully Mark would like it and accept it for our daughter. And if she got it when she was born, she would hopefully love it.

The puppy in my hands and the imagination of my little daughter holding it in her small hands and cuddling with it made all my previous thoughts disappear and the happiness to become a father grew again.

Hello dear people!

I hope you enjoyed this chapter!

Thank you for reading 💙

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