You & I || H.S.

Chapter 40

“It takes an ocean not to break.”

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“But you must go, Annabeth,” I pursued, trying to let her change her mind about not going to Zayn’s wedding.

“Why can’t you get it, Harry?” She bellowed and I crossed my arms over my chest, cocking a brow at her.

“Get what? What’s the very convincing reason you’ve got not to go to your best friend’s wedding, Annabeth?” I whispered, but since we were in her silent bedroom, she heard me, and very well might I add.

“It fucking breaks me, Harry,” A tear slipped her beautiful eye, “It breaks me seeing them lovingly smile at each other… It breaks me watching them all happily together, and knowing that I’ll never get happiness like that. Yes, it is very selfish and non-considerate of me, but I, too, have feelings, you know? I, too, have a heart, which is broken, shattered may I add.”

Then she buried her face between her hands and started sobbing, loudly. It pained me knowing how much true and correct she was, she lost her chance in this happiness. But I am here, to try and regain it for her. I’m here to break all her boundaries and let myself in, to make her better. I’m here to fix it all up, and that’s what I’ve been trying to do for the last six days.

“Crying won’t ever benefit you; you must have known that by now.” I said, sitting beside her and brushing her hair delicately in a comforting way.

“I know,” She whispered, still in the same position.

“Then why are you still grieving yourself, Annabeth?” I asked, “Why are you torturing yourself in that hideous way while you can try and make yourself happy?”

“Because I lost him, I lost my chance in happiness. You don’t know how it is like to lose someone you love. And you won’t.”

“I don’t know?” I asked loudly, standing up and facing her, not literally as her face was still hidden by her hands. “I know because I lost my mum, I lost her and you witnessed how I coped to her loss, and how I’m still coping.

And most importantly, I lost you. And with each day passing, I’m losing you even more if that’s possible. Don’t you say that I don’t know that feeling because I’m like an expert in losing people I love, and you know it!”

I don’t know if it was my loud voice or what I said that caused her to stop crying and brought her head up, but I don’t care. If it was my shouting, she deserved it because I don’t know how she had the guts to accuse me of not knowing how her state felt. She above everyone knows how it feels like to lose a mother and she knows that I’ve lost her and that I was torturing.

And if it was what I had just said, then I don’t care because she heard it before; she knows that I love her so much, more than anyone and more than my life. She knows that I’ve loved and still does for the past five and a half years and I don’t give two fucks if she wasn’t comfortable when I said that I loved her, it’s the hurting truth after all.

“I can’t stop thinking about him, Harry,” She whispered and I sighed. She ignored what I said, again. “Every time I try to forget him, he makes his way back to my mind again. It’s like he’s a permanent memory which I can’t erase and as much as I’d like to forget him, he’s stuck in my head. Even when I sleep, I dream about him all the time. I can’t get him out of my mind, out of my world that is.”

I dropped to my knees in front of her and took her crying face in between my hands, she didn’t flinch back. I looked straight into her blue eyes and she looked back at mine, and for the first time since forever, I finally had eye contact with Annabeth Chase.