•18- The Pasts of Our Regrets

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"Lillian, it's been four hours since you've been in the bathroom. I've given you your privacy now let me use to the damn bathroom," Ace shouts outside of the door. I feel his anger, literally, and I get up, opening the door to leave the bathroom. Ace zooms past me and lets out a sigh of relief.

I look back at the closed door, curious- more interested. Sometimes I forget he's still a werewolf, with the possibility of feelings. They're just locked away, and maybe one day I could figure out why.

Ace exits the bathroom and looks down at me. "You want to eat, or starve?" he asks me, going into the tiny kitchen. He opens the fridge and examines it, finding nothing appealing. It looked like most thing s were rotting in there anyways.

I shake my head, not hungry, or I just didn't want to eat. I was the opposite of a stress eater, at times. Sometimes I couldn't eat when stressed, because I'd just puke it up.

"Tsk, tsk, too bad. Your wolf is hungry," he says, taking out his phone. It was the newest Iphone. I frown, he could afford that, but not a nice apartment? Great. Too bad he isn't one of the cliché rich bad boys at least. No, I got stuck with a bum of a serial killer.

He types in a number and begins to call somebody. "Hi- yes, I'd like that, make it two please- okay, you know my address- thank you," he hangs up. That was a quick conversation. I presumed he ordered food.

My stomach growled and I tensed up, feeling oddly embarrassed. Ace doesn't look at me, just down at his phone. I sigh, being thankfully. I lay down, staring at the blank wall beside the bed.

Somebody knocked on the door and Ace got up to open it. I look back and see some chinese food in his hands. He comes over and sits on the bed next to me, handing me a small box without saying anything.

I hesitantly take it, opening the box. It smelt amazing. I looked around and saw some rice, pork, peppers, and noodles. I smile lightly, breaking the chopsticks a part. Chinese food will always be in my top three, it's just so amazing and buffets are everywhere where I lived.

We eat the food in silence, Ace finished way before me. He stares at the ceiling, breaking the silence with a question, "What's your favorite colour?" he asks me.

I look at him with a mouthful of noodles. He turns to me and raises an eyebrow. I quickly swallow the food and answer him, "Black," my voice shivered a bit.

"Hm, I'd think it was pink or something. Mine is white," he says. I didn't expect that colour, it's so pure. Well, you wouldn't expect black from me either. Sometimes I think people's favorite colours reveal a lot about them. "Favorite animal?" he asks me another question.

I don't bother asking why he is so curious, it's something to get my mind off other stuff I'd really not like to think about. "Arctic fox," I reply. Way back when I was little my favorite animal was a wolf, for obvious reasons, but this girl I knew already liked wolves and called me a copy cat. So one day I was in the library and found a book on arctic foxes, I fell in love immediately.

He hums before answering his own question, "Mine is an ocelot. Why is arctic fox yours?" I look away, telling him the story I mentioned earlier, but in a shorter version. "Huh. I just thought ocelots were interesting. Favorite food?" he asks another.

This one was easy for me, "Blueberries and peppermint whip cream," I say proudly. Talking with Ace like this, felt normal. I didn't feel like I was talking to sociopath. 

He chuckles, "Weird. I like..." he trails off, thinking, "Is have to go with chinese pepper steak," he says. I nod, that was pretty good. "Do you miss your home?" he suddenly asks me and I tense up. That was a sudden change of pace.

I simply nod, but wanting to speak now. This was a sensitive topic after all he did take me away from them. "Understandable. I do too," he says.

I look at him, curious of what his family was like. What made him into the person he is today. His family had to have something to do with it, of not, then what?

He was a silent for a bit before speaking up. "Well, we are stuck together for life so you might as well know my story," he starts off. I nod, listening very closely. He lays on his side, getting comfortable. "I was born in January, on the cold winter day of the 25th. My mother was a bitch to put it. She seemed nice on the outside, but she would fuck up anybody's life if she hated them. That ended up killing her, she tried to blackmail an Alpha and was hanged. As for my father, he was nice and took care of me for the first seven years of my life, but he had some mandatory duty to do and died fighting rogues. I was devastated, and became rogue myself since I had nobody else and I didn't trust the pack I was in. My killing started when I was twelve, I saw this large man holding down a very petite girl. I knew it was wrong, and I tried to be the hero. I shifted into my wolf and tackled the guy, accidentally killing him since he hit his head too hard when I tackled him. The girl screamed and called me a murderer and then I killed her, to keep that mouth shut," he breathes out.

I was shocked to say the least. His life wasn't the easiest, but he did love somebody at some point in his life. If he only didn't kill that guy, and girl, then he'd be perfectly normal. But things don't always go perfectly. I guess those sadistic habits were developed over time.

He traces his finger around the patterns on the blanket endlessly, "What about you?" he asks me.

I let out a small sign, "Its normal, up until I met you," I say. My life pretty boring, nothing ever dramatic has happened up until now. I haven't learned to respond to dramatic events well because I haven't dealt with them before.

When I look back at Ace, I notice his eyes were closed and his mouth was slightly parted. I could also hear a soft snore as he slept. I rolled my eyes, tossing a blanket over him before falling asleep myself.

Maybe I can change him, take away his demons.

•••

I deleted my last authors note to write this. Please stop asking me to update. I write when I have free time. I still have a social life and honors/Ap classes to do work for.

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