Chapter 40: In which I choke

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we long for fairytales, 

in a world full of nightmares. 

There is a new craze that has overtaken me

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There is a new craze that has overtaken me.

A new desperation.

No longer is it the effort to finalize the King's wishes and do as he commands.

Now it is different.

Now I am working, with little sleep and food, for a new reason.

A new purpose.

To save them.

Jasmine.

Her face haunts me- the thin scratches on her arms, the dirt and grime upon her hair and features.

Her screams.

I cry sometimes while I work.

Alone in that room.

I have to make sure no tears spill onto the mixtures, so they don't interfere with the solution.

I don't know how much time goes by.

Judging by the meals that are brought- slide through an opening in the door- I would say almost a week now.

I'm filthy.

No shower in a week.

But the thought only enters my mind once, when I happen to catch my reflection in one of the glasses.

My eyes are what make me shudder.

Crazy.

Desperate.

Some small part of them match the unknown man.

Alto.

He surely was looking for me.

I knew he was.

I felt the bond, however small, pulsing inside me.

It was an assurance I needed within me.

An assurance that Alto was alive.

Therefore I had to keep going.

Among all the glass and instruments- the thought entered my head more than once of what the nameless man would do if he happened to walk in one day and find me there- laying upon the floor with a shard of glass in my hand and my wrist flowing red.

But then the image of Jasmine's face would resurface.

And I knew I had lost.

The week- or what I thought to be a week- went by, before the nameless man arrived again.

I think, the fact that he remained without a name to me, created even more fear inside.

Because I had nothing to place to his face.

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