sunrise || m.h.

Sun

I woke up, nearly jumping out of my skin. I had a dream about my father. No, not a dream. A nightmare. 

He found me and made me go back. He made me go back to what he calls home and what I call hell. Matty was put in jail for harboring me. I never even got to say goodbye. I had just arrived 'home' with my father when I woke up, his hand mere inches from my face before I jolted myself awake. 

Matty was asleep soundly beside me, curled up into a ball of sheets and curly hair.  I sat up and looked at the digital clock across the room, the red glowing numbers reading 4:02am. 

Carefully, I made my way out of the bed, trying my hardest to not wake Matty. I turned to look at him as I reached for the door handle to see he hadn't stirred at all. 

I quietly left the room, stepping into the hallway to find all of the lights were still on. Matty must have grabbed snacks and left everything as it was, because quite literally every light was on. I laughed and picked up my phone from the coffee table. 

4 new messages from Vee.

V: Hayley you're on the news! The police are looking for you!!

V: Are you okay? Were you trying to tell me that Matty is a kidnapper earlier?? Did he really kidnap you?

V: Hayley? Are you okay?

V: I hope you're okay. I'm really worried about you

Fuck, Vee knew. I wasn't going to tell her I ran away from home, but now I guess I have to unless I want to lie and say Matty is a kidnapper and my nightmare to come true. 

I typed out a quick reply, stuffing my phone into my pocket. 

H: I'm fine, I'll explain what's going on later. 

Dragging myself into the kitchen, I spotted the coffee maker, jetting for the machine. I searched through Matty's cupboards, standing on my toes, trying to find the instant coffee I knew he had. A box labeled 'instant coffee' was hidden right in front of my eyes, falling onto the counter after I moved a cereal box out of the way. Picking it up, I read the instructions and started the machine, putting a fair amount of the ground up beans into it. 

As I waited for the coffee to be done, I wandered back into the lounge, sitting on the windowsill. The city was still mostly dark, the sky being between black and a dark blue, the sun getting ready for it's daily battle with the dark. 

With thoughts of Matty constantly on my mind, I nearly forgot about the sunrise. As stupid as it sounds, the sunrise is one of the most important things to me. It's always there. It's always been there. It will always be there. The sunrise is so beautiful, so captivating, so elegant, you could call it perfect. It's never the same. One day the sky will be filled with orange, the next it'll be purple and blue. It was the only constant in my life and the only thing I could count on.  

I got lost in the sky. The more time went on, the more engulfed I became in the colors. It was like I was in a trance. I had completely forgotten about the coffee I was so intent on having, getting my mind lost in it's own thoughts. I started thinking about how everyone had been so kind to me at George's party, despite having just met me. I remembered Ivy, someone I had completely forgotten about. She was so kind to me and knew not a single thing about me except my name. She pointed Matty out to me, saying he liked me. Or at least that he wanted to get into my pants.

I stopped at that thought. Was he really? Is that really all he wants from me?

Part of me didn't care. If that was the truth, and all he wanted from me was to fuck, part of me said "fuck it" and let it happen anyway. The other half of me was worried, like it should have been, but most of my brain and body didn't mind it not being love.