i'll help you || chanbaek angst

eleven

Vivid imagery as well as a HUGE trigger warning at the end of this chapter. I wouldn't recommend if you get upset easily or if you get upset about suicide.

Three weeks later.

Sweat rolled down Chanyeol's face as he brought himself close to the toilet bowl. He shoved his index and middle finger deep down his throat, feeling the burning sensation of bile and other acids rising from the bottom of his stomach.

The sound of gagging filled the bathroom as Chanyeol threw up all that was inside him, which was just acids and liquids.

He gripped the toilet seat with all of his remaining strength, his knuckles turning white as he grasped on for dear life.

Once he was done, he slumped back against the wall, sweat dripping down his face, mixing with the tears that fell from his eyes. He looked down at his wrists, which were littered with recent and old scars.

Disgust formed in his face as he tore his gaze away, not wanting to look at it anymore.

"Baekhyun.." He whispered as he remembered what had happened three weeks ago.

-

-

"Baekhyun I love you. Do you love me too?" Chanyeol looked up hopefully at Baekhyun. He waited patiently for a response yet never got one.

Baekhyun remained silent, staring at the ground with a mixed expression.

"Baekhyun?" He said and watched as Baekhyun snapped out of what seemed like a trance, shaking his head and blinking numerous times.

"Um-- I d--- s-sorry. I have t-to go." Baekhyun said and got up as fast as he could, walking hastily out of the door.

He stood up and walked to the window, where he saw Baekhyun walk out and break into a sprint, running down the street, away from him.

-

-

Chanyeol stood up and flushed the toilet, grabbing an air freshener aerosol and spraying it all around himself and the bathroom, getting rid of any signs that he had been sick.

He also opened the window, hoping that would help.

Once he was sure that there would be no traces of him being sick, he walked out of the bathroom, making the short trek to his bedroom. He entered his bedroom and collapsed onto his bed, feeling new, hot tears slide down his face.

"Baekhyun, did you really hate me that much?"

-

-

"Min. You have a visitor. You might want to brace yourself for this one." Sehun said as he stepped aside, letting Minji see the small male stood behind him.

Baekhyun stepped forwards and stared at Minji with a cold, hard gaze. He gripped the letter in his hands and stretched out his arm, indicating for Minji to take the letter.

She took the letter and looked at Baekhyun skeptically.

"Why're you here, Byun?" She asked while opening the letter. When Baekhyun didn't reply, she looked at him more carefully, noticing the dark circles under his eyes and the slight traces of tear stains down his cheeks.

Minji opened the letter and began to read it.

Minji,

I know you dont like me or Chanyeol but I need your help.

I want to be able to make him smile and laugh but I can't do that. I can't do it because I dont know him enough. Thats why I've written this note to you, Min.

He confessed to me and I'm not afraid to tell you. I love him too and I want to be the one to make him happy and be the reason that he stops what is going on right now.

I ran out without replying to him and I feel distraught. Thats also why I came to you. I want this surprise to be the best thing that he has ever experienced but I can't do that without your help.

Please Min, have a heart.

- Baekhyun.

Minji looked up at Baekhyun, who was staring right back at her hopefully. She nodded her head and smiled slightly at the way Baekhyun's to lit up with happiness.

'I guess feelings never change..'

-

-

Chanyeol sat on his windowsill, listening to the soft blowing of the wind as it breezed past the window.

His parents had long gone to bed, leaving him to his own thoughts. He sat there, thinking.

Eventually, he stood up and walked over to the drawer, where he pulled out a piece of paper and a glass bottle.

Chanyeol set both of them down on his bedside table and stared at them both.

Did I say piece of paper and a glass bottle?

I meant suicide letter and a bottle of sleeping pills.

A tear slipped down Chanyeol's cheek and his lips began to tremble. Hastily, he picked up the bottle and unscrewed the cap, ready to end his own life.

He downed the three quarter empty bottle without thinking twice, swallowing harshly as he smashed it against the wall, waking his parents up.

"Channie? Are you okay?" He heard his mother ask as she knocked on his bedroom door.

He collapsed onto the floor, screaming in pain. His insides burned, as well as his throat.

The door opened and an agonizing scream from his mother could be heard.

Black dots filled Chanyeol's vision as his shouts began to quieten and become breathy. He felt liquid come up his throat and out his mouth, soiling the carpet below him. Within the vomit, he saw a few of the small white and peach pills that hadn't fully disovled.

The hands that clasped onto him brought him back to reality as he was turning onto his side, into the recovery position. The pain got worse as he began to cough excessively, bringing both mucus and blood up and out onto the floor.

His breathing worsened as he began to pant brokenly, struggling for air.

Eventually, he passed out after hearing his mother scream down the phone, demanding both the police and the ambulance.

"CHANYEOL BABY PLEASE STAY WITH ME! YO-YOU'RE ALL I HAVE!"