You Have Me (BTS fanfic/Jungkook fanfic)

Part 7

Christine's POV

I woke up the next morning feeling Kai's hands on mine and I saw him on the floor with a pillow and a blanket. He slept there holding my hand through out the night.. So it was his hand.. I dreamt of holding appa's hands.. Guess thats why it felt real.

Suddenly my phone rang. It was Sungmi. I checked the clock. 5am. Why is she calling so early? I gently let go of Kai's hand and picked up my phone from my night stand where my father's vase was on the opposit side of where Kai was..

"Yoboseo?" My eyes hurt. I think it's swollen from all the crying I did yesterday..

"Yah Min Christine! Are you okay?!" She panicked

"No. But I'll be." I said

"Jungkook called me and said that I should take care of you. I didn't let him go until I knew what was going on.. I'm sorry for your lost.." She said the last sentence silently and it triggered my tears once more.

"Thanks. I'll see you later. I have to get ready" I told her and with that we hung up. I stood up. Touched the vase and blinked my tears away.

"Cry. Don't hold up your strong front. Don't do this like what you did when your mom died. You don't have to be strong for anyone." Kai said hugging me from behind.

"Mm.. Cause I dont have anyone anymore" I cried and I felt Kai's hug grow tighter. I turn around and faced him. He burried my face onto his chest as I cried some more

"Don't talk like that... It hurts.. What am I here for?" He said and I just held onto the back of his shirt tightly.

After all the crying, we only had time to shower and get dressed before going to school. Both of us didn't take our breakfast. We were both late for our first subject but he still ran with me to my class before he ran to his.

"I'm sorry I'm late." I said as I stepped in the class with everyone looking at me.. I spot Jungkook's empty table and my heart sank.. I thought he'd be here today..

"Get in and take your seat." My teacher said and he continued discussing.

I took my seat beside Sungmi and she looked at me and squeezed my hand. I forced a smile and tried to focus in class.

I tried.. I really did.. But my mind just goes blank and everything becomes so silent... I hear appa calling my name.. Laughing with me... Carrying me on his shoulders... Making silly jokes no one would understand but me.. I hear appa's apologies.. Appa's bitter memories.. Everything...

"Ms Min!" My teacher shouted and it got my attention.

"Oh?" I stared at him blankly

"If you're not feeling well then don't attend classes. You're not normally like this." My teacher sighed in disappointment but I couldn't care less. I was so emotionless right now. I feel so numb.

~lunch~

"Hey, you want me to accompany you to lunch today?" Sungmi asked and I smiled at her sadly shaking my head

"I'll be fine.. Go now your mom's waiting for you.." I said quietly as I pushed her gently towards the direction she always go. Where she takes her lunch with her mom.

"Mom would understand if I dont show up today" she said stopping me from pushing her.

"Its fine.. Thanks.. But I want to be alone for now.." I told her and she got it. She hugged me one tight hug and left to her mom.

I walked up to the roof top. I stood on the middle of the space infront of me. Then and there I felt so alone.. So helpless.. So miserable.. So much in pain that I curled myself, hugging my knees and crying once more. I've never cried so much in my life. Not even when mom died. But now I can't control it. I lost my control. I cried and cried and cried and cried.