Shadow Of The Nightshade

Lost Memories and Confusion.

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Right now I was sitting on a bed.

I was in a room that belonged to me—I won't call it mine but I owned it. I now had the time to examine the book because I had finished packing ten minutes ago.

Maybe I was quick because I had nothing to pack and just spent the time rearranging my backpack. Or maybe it was because my bag was already packed and I just took everything out and put it back in.

Looking back now I realize that I was stalling. I still didn't know if I wanted to remember what I forgot.

I was scared.

Maybe it was because I knew that if I read the book I would remember where the scars that lined my body came from. I couldn't remember now and I was happy with that.

I was content right now and if I made the words in the pages appear I will be sad. I know I will be, because I had forgotten everything.

Everything before Sai died was blank, then I suddenly remember white buildings and strange looking animals. I know they are called genomorphs and I don't know why.

Before everything was in pieces but recently it just stops. I don't know why but my mind is blank and I don't think anybody noticed.

No, the almost silent voice whispered at the back of my mind. Carter noticed.

I blinked at the thought and stared at the book the sat on my lap. Yes, Carter remembered. He told me about Sai... He knew me.

We might have been friends but I can't remember.

Maybe I shouldn't care what happens...

I wasn't happy. I never am.

It was all a lie, it had already happened so why am I running away.

I grabbed the book and pulled my pillow to my chest. I haven't cried in a while and maybe that's a bad thing.

Is it bad that I have a knife hidden in my pillowcase?

Maybe. Plunging my hand into the soft fabric I grabbed the smooth blade and revealed the glinting weapon to the world.

For some reason I felt laughing.

Flipping through the book I stopped at the last page and held my breath. The answer to opening it came easy, it felt like a sort of truth, a fact that I couldn't deny.

I dragged the knife across the tips of my fingers—just deep enough to break the skin—and watched the red drop onto the blankness.

A laugh bubbled out of my lips as I closed my fist, my bloody fingers staining my palm as I saw the blood on the book mysteriously disappear.

Only someone as twisted as me would make a lock that needed blood to be opened.

Before I could fully process what i just did I stopped laughing, Talia was coming. Don't ask me how I knew because you wouldn't understand. I heard her walking this way.

Jumping on my feet, I leapt off the bed and landed softly on the tiled floor. Biting back a whimper I clenched my fist tightly.

The scent of iron tickled my nose, and without thinking much about it I stuffed the book into the pillowcase and walked to the door. Before she could knock I pulled on the handle and looked into the doorway, staring straight forward into her chest.

I looked up at her, she looked down at me.

It was times like this that I felt small. Old and small. The voice kindly reminded me. I didn't smile, instead I tilted my head and stared at Talia's face.

I watched her lower the hand she was going to use to knock and I heard her clear her throat. Too loud. I felt my ears wince—as impossible as it sounds.

Taking a step back, I let her come in, remembering to keep my bloody hand behind my back as I did. I didn't know why she was here, it had barely been an hour and I was far from ready.

'Do you smell blood?' She spun on her heel and faced me, one eyebrow raised and both arms crossed.

I stared at her blankly wondering why she had asked me. She knew I didn't talk... Everyone knew that.

'Is there anything you have to say, Shadow?' Talia asked again, a wry smile sitting on her lips.

Still, I only looked at her. I didn't have a clue what she wanted. Did she want to punish me for hurting myself?

I heard her sigh and suddenly she was kneeling in front of me. I took a quick step in shock, my eyes wide as I watched her.

She only laughed and stood back up. 'You are such a silly girl.'

I shifted my gaze from her to the floor. She was right, if she wanted to hurt me she wouldn't have to sneak around to do it.

She has hurt me before. The thought somehow calmed me as I walked to her and held out my hand in front of her.

The blood seemed too much for just a coupled of little cuts and I felt my stomach churn a bit. I looked away from my hand and up and her.

Her eyes were narrowed and her lips were set in a thin line but I wasn't afraid. Actually, I was curious to see what she would do.

'Shadow,' she started, seriousness evident in her tone as she grabbed my wounded hand by the wrist. 'Don't ever do this again.'

I stared at her in confusion. Why? What was wrong with it?

I had cut myself several times before and she didn't say anything then...  But those times were in training... Or mistakes.

I frowned as I tried to figure it out. I didn't do anything wrong.

Was it because I bled in the room?

'Get ready,' Talia sighed again, still not letting go off my hands as she dragged me towards my bathroom—the one tucked away in a corner of the room. 'Take a shower and pack your things, we are leaving now.'

Now? We?

I had never been so confused.

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Chapter 3
Edited
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