time is an ocean [camren]

part 3

I trudged up to the front door of the house, both shoes now finally resting on the welcome mat Camila and I had picked out together. I quickly brushed my shoes against the material, a small smirk spread across my lips at the memory. I fumbled with my keys from my pocket before pushing the correct one into the keyhole on the handle, finally twisting the knob to push the door forward and enter the house.

I could feel my legs aching with the mere concept of finally getting to sit down and relax on the couch; the exhaustion was finally taking over my body. I let out a small sigh as I threw my keys onto the bench after closing the door behind me. Taking a quick check of the time, I noticed it was half past nine. While I was upset at that fact because I'd told Camila I was going to be home at seven o'clock, it finally struck me that it seemed way too quiet in the house. And the only light on was the one in the living room.

It was very unusual.

Just like the sound of my phone going off loudly in my pocket. The device started buzzing after letting out my usual ringtone. Perplexed as to who might be calling me at this time besides Camila, I quickly pulled it out from my pocket.

Looking down at the screen was when I noticed it was an unknown number, but I felt a strange compulsion to answer.

I pressed the green button before raising the phone to my ear, my own voice barely registering in my brain when I said hello.

Suddenly, my legs went numb.

Upon realisation of what this call must be about, my knees almost buckled and gave out. It was like a strange feeling in the air that brought me to my senses, it's like I knew what was happening before I was being told.

"We're very sorry. We did all that we could but we're afraid that your wife didn't make i-"

I hung up the phone.

I let it slip out from my grip, falling to the ground along with a loud shattering noise. And I wasn't sure whether it was my phone or my heart.

The universe felt totally off balance, and I didn't want to be there for it. Every emotion imaginable swirled around in my chest, stoking a fire that did not feel like it could be dampened anytime soon. Every emotion, that is, except for guilt. That was the one that sat down the lowest, in the pit of my stomach. It was the fuel and Camila was the fire.

I turned around, eyes glazed over and lacking of any color. I didn't even bother to grab my keys as I opened the door, only to shut it behind me once I had exited the house.

My legs lead me down the steps, slowly, slowly. It was almost as if I wasn't in control of my own body as I walked toward the edge of the forest. I walked and walked until I couldn't see any edge of any forest; only trees.

I walked and walked until I couldn't see any more trees. I could only see green grass.

I close my eyes.

When I open them again, I'm still in the middle of a clearing in the middle of the night. When I open my eyes again, Camila is still not there. She would never be there when I open my eyes again.

I tilt my head back and see the sky is full of stars, almost like I had never seen them before. They glow and illuminate the night sky with a strange greenish blue light.

My knees gave out and I fell forward, vulnerable and open in the grass clearing. I wished for her back.

She screamed.