Translation of Love

31

Crush

It's been a few weeks since I first went to Taeyoung's modelling agency. Since then the weather has grown colder—the leaves turning from green to crisp shades of red and gold. The sun decides to leave us earlier in the day, it sleeps in much longer than it did in the summer. I can't help but think about the approaching holiday; Christmas, and how different it will be this year.

I have been visiting Taeyoung at the modelling agency more and more lately, so much so that the front desk man recognizes me. Taeyoung has become more in demand, even becoming the new face of his modelling company. He doesn't care for it though, his focus is on composing music and he told me that he hopes someday that that is what people know him for, and not just his face. Nevertheless, this popularity offered him more flexibility and breathing room when it came to expenses. He no longer has the landlord coming after him, and he has paid back his housemates to make up for the times they had to pay for him.

Things are going well, slow and steady, but I feel great. It's much easier to push my dark thoughts aside now that I have Taeyoung.

So much so that I don't even think about the past anymore. At all.

***

I'm at my father's restaurant now. I have been visiting to help with the restaurant. They gave me a part-time job, but I use it as an excuse to see them more—and because I feel bad for getting money when they rarely have customers, I end up using my earnings towards the restaurant.

I had saved up to buy a high-quality, production-level rice cooker and threw the old one in the garbage. It took a week for them to stop trying to give it back to me. I had replaced small things too—like the light fixtures, the signs outside—and I cleaned the place with more determination than I've ever had before. I felt inspired to help turn the place around.

While these small things don't bring us more customers, they do make us work better and more efficiently. I have also reignited the love I have for cooking before coming to Korea. My mother and I often experimented with different recipes, and we switch cooking duties every so often. When you're raised by a single mother, you don't have much choice but to learn how to take care of yourself; I just happen to be someone who enjoys cooking.

It took a while to learn the names Korean-style ingredients that I've never heard of before, like gochujang. I eventually begin to experiment with the recipes, making Seulgi taste test certain dishes to get her opinion. She is quite the critic, to say the least.

"Here, taste this." I shove a wooden spoon with sauce towards her face. She leans forward to taste it, looking off into the distance as she smacks her lips together lightly.

"This is saltier than Chaeyoung was to me the other day."

"Liar." I give up on her and end up adding sugar to the sauce.

"Sohee?" She asks, leaning against the kitchen counter.

"What."

"What's it like?"

"What's what like?" I continue to stir the sauce, adding noodles with my other hand.

"Having a boyfriend." I pause to look over at her serious face. She is rarely serious.

"Why?" I ask a bit accusingly. This girl has a crush, doesn't she?

"Just wondering." She plays it off as if it's no big deal.

"It's...I don't know."

"You don't know? You do have a boyfriend right? Is he fake?"