i hate you » carl gallagher

nineteen - gone

noel

Debbie and I had gone to pick up her cupcakes for her gender reveal party. We were sitting on a bench infront of the bakery, waiting for Carl and Nick to come pick us up with their "new ride".

"I heard what happened between you and Carl," Debbies said, breaking the awkward silence. "He's a total asshole."

"Yeah, he is, but he's my asshole," I sent her a soft smile and she let out a chuckle.

"Thanks for coming with me today and for helping me with my party. It's not like Fiona is helping me or anything," she stated.

"It's no problem," I said. "I'm sure Fi just has a lot on her plate right now."

"Oh, she has a lot on her plate right now? I have too much on my plate right now," Debbie said, defending her case.

"Yeah, I know. But, don't you think having to look out for 6 kids is a lot? She's under a lot of stress. I know she's really up your ass right now because of the baby and all, but I think that's just because she doesn't want you to have to go through what she went through at your age," I explained. Debbie shrugged.

"She could atleast be a little nicer about it, atleast," she rolled her eyes.

"You could too," I stated just as Carl and Nick pulled up.

"Finally," Debbie groaned as we all hopped in the car.

"What's up, baby," Carl said to me, leaning towards the backseat to give me kiss as I got situated. He planted a soft peck of a kiss on my lips and then sat back in his seat.

"Thanks for driving me! My party is gonna be super fun," Debbie cheered, sending me an excited smile. Nobody said anything. "Whose car is this?"

"Company car," Carl answered, making me furrow my eyes at him.

"Cool," Debbie said. "I'm really glad you could make it. I hope you guys like cupcakes!" Just as Debbie finished her sentence, out of nowhere, Nick did a full on U turn in the middle of the street. Debbie grabbed my hand as I held onto the handle above the door.

"Fuck man," Carl groaned.

"That's my fucking bike," Nick stated. A couple of days ago, when him, Carl, and I were out, someone stole Nick's bike. He was devestated, said that he needed his gun. Ever since I've been afraid to even think about what he would do to the person who stole his bike.

"Slow down! I'm pregnant," Debbie yelled. I gripped her hand to insure her that she would be fine. However, Nick ignored Debbie as he began to follow the kid that was riding his bike. He followed the kid all the way to, what I'm assuming was, his house.

"It's not worth it," Carl told him. "Think of the farm. The fucking cows, man." Farm? Cows? What the hell was he talking about?

Nick listened and he eventually pulled off and started towards the house where the party would be taking place.

-

So far there was no one else at the party beside Frank and the owner, Erica. She had cancer and Debbie was staying here as the "babysitter" for the kids.

"Fiona's not coming," I asked as Debbie set a plate onto the table we were all gathered at.

"We can just start without her," Debbie stated. She clapped her hands together and a big smile formed on her face. "Thank you guys all so much for coming-"

"Bathroom," Nick asked Erica in a monotone voice.

"Oh, door, right down the hallway," she told him, pointing him in the direction of the bathroom.

"So, as you guys know, I kind of wanted to keep the gender of the baby a suprise," Debbie started, making my heart warm at how happy she seemed. Carl wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me closer to him. I sent him a warm smile and gave my attention back to Debbie. "But Erica here, who is like a mother to me, suggested that I throw this party and include everyone. So, that's what I did."

Erica's phone began to ring, "Oh, it's my doctor. I have to take this, so sorry. I'll just be- I'll be one sec." She walked off into the other room to answer her phone.

All of the sudden, we all heard an engine start up outside. Carl's arm fell down to his waist as he ran over to the door to see Nick driving off.

"Fuck," he yelled just before running out of the door and after Nick.

"Carl! Wait," I called, but it was too late. I turned back to Debbie and Frank. Once I did, I saw them having a silent arguement. I was confused about what was going on until I saw Frank make a sexual gesture with his hand right as Erica came back into the room.

"Umm... Noel," Debbie turned to me, getting my full attention. "I was thinking a lot about this and I think I'm going to name the baby after Erica." I acted like I was suprised and excited for her when really, I had no idea what the hell was happening. "Eric if it's a boy. What do you think of that?"

"I-I think that's great! Erica is such a pretty name and Eric is great too," I said, clapping my hands together.

-

I haven't heard from Carl since he ran after Nick at Debbie's party. It's been 5 hours and, I've got to admit, I'm pretty fucking worried.

The way Nick looked at that kid that stole his bike was cold and evil and I have a feeling that's why I haven't heard from Carl.

Or maybe Nick just needed to go for a drive. Get a breather, you know? Maybe Carl found Nick and took him somewhere where he could just relax. Atleast that's what I'm hoping for.

Debbie is having a girl, though. She looked so happy once she saw the pink color of the icing inside of those cupcakes. I'm happy for her, even if having a baby at her age isn't the right choice for her right now. However, she seems happier than ever and that makes me happy.

"Hey," my dad knocked on the door of my bedroom, peeking his head inside.

"Hey dad," I smiled, sitting up on my bed.

"Carl is outside waiting for you," he said as more of a question, scrunching up his eyebrows. My eyes widened and I swear my heart skipped like 10 beats as I jumped up and rushed downstairs. Once I got outside, I saw him sitting on my front steps with his head in his hands.

"Carl," I mumbled a little as I shut the front door behind me. A cold breeze hit my skin once I did, causing me to shiver. I didn't grab a jacket or even shoes before I ran out here.

I sat down next to him on the step and gently grabbed his hands to pull them away from his face. He lifted his head up and I swear he had no emotion on his face.

"Baby, what's wrong," I asked him as I shivered a little more from the cold.

"You cold," he asked, his voice raspy from not talking in awhile. I nodded my head yes as he wrapped his arms around me, pulling me closer to him. I rested my head on his shoulder. I waited a little longer before I spoke again to see if he would answer my question.

"Carl, what happened," I asked him again. I tried to lift my head up but he pushed it back down, gently, with his chin.

"Nick is gone," he finally answered. "He killed that kid... now he's gone." My heart began to race. I felt a lump in my throat and my eyes began to burn from the tears that were forming.

"I-I'm sorry. Are-Are you okay," I asked. He didnt answer. He just rubbed my arm, warming me up. I wrapped my arms around his torso as tight as I could and we stayed that way for awhile until my dad told me that it was time to come back inside.

-

a/n: im so sorry for the lack of updates!! i promise i didnt forget about you guys 💙