3. sunt lacrimae rerum

66 20 19
                                    

sunt lacrimae rerum.

the next day, seokjin had returned to jungkook's door, per jungkook's request. the pain on his arms was no longer peeling, brighter than before, newer and clean and fresh. by the time seokjin left, however, the paint had been picked at. 

seokjin had stayed for an hour, whispering to jungkook about words that rhymed and his favorite tea and why autumn was such a pretty season. jungkook wondered why seokjin was trying to be quiet.

"pink is such a soft color," seokjin mumbled. he held out his paint-lathered arm. pink overpowered the other colors. he looked jungkook in the eyes, his arm still hanging limply in mid-air. "thank you. for allowing me to see it again." 

jungkook brushed his fingertips along the pink parts of seokjin arm. he couldn't remove his eyes from the scar that was hidden beneath the paint. "i hope you don't mind me asking, but where did you get the scar from? do you paint your arm to hide it?"

"it's from when i stepped off of that bridge. you must have not noticed in whatever state you were in." seokjin stared at his own arm. "i paint it because i'm scared to think of what happened to me, why i made that decision. were you scared?" 

jungkook felt his eyebrows knitting together. "what do you mean?" 

"when i made that forever decision. were you scared?" seokjin whispered, shifting his gaze slowly to jungkook's eyes. jungkook felt his breathing stop for what felt like a minute. he was terrified when seokjin jumped. he remembered his throat going raw from screaming, his eyes stinging with tears, his lungs burning from heat and running, his toes going numb in the water that contrasted to the temperature of the summer heat. 

seokjin pulled his arm back, resting it in his lap. "i'm sorry."

jungkook stared at his coffee table, two mugs of burning liquid going cold sat on the wood tabletop, his eyes tearing up. he was stuck in his past, confused between remembering and forgetting it all. forgetting seokjin's beaten and bloodied figure. remembering seokjin's faint but almost not-there breaths hitting his arms as he continued to bawl and scream. he decided to put that memory to the back of his mind so he could remember something else.

"when you were in the hospital, still asleep, your mom told me you like to sing." seokjin lifted his head, both of their eyes meeting, seokjin's eyes shiny and filled with unshed tears. "sing for me." 


jungkook's heart dropped when he saw taehyung approaching the bridge the next night, but he couldn't say he was surprised. he stepped out of his window like he usually did, bare feet pounding against the grass and gravel. sharp rocks stabbed into his skin, but he paid no mind to that as he got closer to taehyung. 

he didn't call his name until he was a few feet away. taehyung responded by whipping around, cheeks flushed and splotchy. 

"your advice was shit, jungkook," he seethed. angry tears were streaming down his face. jungkook imagined they were sweet gumdrops instead of the sickly salt-water that they were. "your advice was shit, and it didn't work!"

jungkook took a deep breath and closed his eyes. all it took was one phrase, six seconds, and taehyung would either step off of the bridge or step down from the bridge. that was all it took.

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