My Husband's Girl

2.32 - The Decision

Playlist :
You are the reason - Calum Scott

Alison/Sapphire

     The tiny stones poked my skin as I clutched a fistful of mud in my grasp. Ashley dropped the mud in the hole where dad's coffin laid. I was next. My hand hovered over the coffin, I was scared to let go of the mud. It was like I was letting go of my dad. Even though I didn't want to let it go, it still managed to slip through my fingers and I was left empty-handed. A hand grasped my shoulder before pulling me away from my dad's grave.

Everyone left to go back to the house but I didn't budge. Nobody asked me to come because they knew I wouldn't leave my dad. I watched them fill the grave with mud and in the end, all that was left was a pile of mud.

I was left alone with the graves of two people who are the reason of my existence. I was the fruit of their love.

Here lies,

Nicholas Joe Brown

Husband - Father - Grandfather

10th February 1965 - Forever in your heart.

"Live as you were to die tomorrow,
Learn as you were to live forever."
-Mahatma Gandhi.

Was what the gravestone read. Dad had it made when I got married and always said that now I can die a happy man. I looked at my mother's grave and sighed. A lone tear escaped my eye, I didn't bother to wipe it though. I'm not ashamed of shedding a tear for the loss of someone I love.

I don't know how long was I standing there, just staring at their graves thinking about the life I could've lived if they were still here, with me but I didn't mind.

"He was a good man," Ashley said from beside me. "I know," I answered. "He loved you a lot." She added. "I know," I answered again with my lips tucking upwards. "I didn't get the chance to apologize to him." She said after a long silence. "A father never needs an apology to forgive his child," I repeated dad's words which he said to me once. "I wasn't his child." Ashley chuckled with no humor. "You are Ash! He loved you too just the way he loved me." I said and held her hand.

"You are the only family I got now." She added and squeezed my hand. "You have the Cullens too and you have a son to look after," I said to which she shook her head. "No! He is Ian's son. I just gave birth to him. I do love him that's why he's better off without me. All my life I was used and now I'm free, I want to find my own identity now." She said. I totally respect her choice so I didn't say anything. "But still he deserves to know that you love him," I said.

"He does." She answered.

"You still have to tell him," Ashley said suddenly after a long comfortable silence. "I know. Caleb will be hurt and Ian will be -" I began but she cut me off. "Not about your memory, your decision. You still have a decision to make." She said and looked at me. I sighed and looked back at her. Ashley turned herself to face me and held my shoulders in her grasp.

"Ali! You have been through a lot. You've been selfless all the time and it only gave you heartbreaks. I'm not saying that being selfless is a bad thing, its fine but sometimes you ought to be selfish. Forget about what Ian will feel or Caleb will go through. Just listen to your heart and make a decision. We can figure out the rest later." She said while looking into my eyes. I nodded and gave a small smile.

"Ashley! The guests are leaving." Marie called from a distance. Ashley gave her a nod and kissed my cheek before walking back to the house. I exhaled deeply causing a fog to escape my lips. New York is much colder than Chicago or maybe it's because the weather forecast predicts snowfall today. I pulled my black coat closer to my chest before kneeling down between my parents grave. I kept a hand on my mother's while other on my dad's. I had so much to say but the only thing that came out was,