Legend of Zelda x Reader Oneshots

Revali x Reader - Insulted (EDITED)

Psst... It's been edited, enjoy.

(Word count: 1,001)

~~

"No..." You gasped at the sight of your dagger handle WITHOUT a blade. "Nooo nononononono!" You nearly sobbed into your hands. Your sweet, precious weapon was broken and there wasn't anything you could do about it until you got to your destination.

Only a few feet away, a yiga member tilted his head in confusion, wondering what he'd just witnessed. You were both brawling furiously just a moment ago, but seeing your teary eyes, he asked himself whether or not he could actually defeat you in such a pitiful state.

He didn't have time to answer that question, however. Your sad eyes quickly turned angry as you glared at the boy clad in red. "You... You motherfucker!"

"Wha?"

"Y O U  D I D  T H I S ! ! !" You screeched, almost demon-like.

"W-Wait! No, p-please!"

~~

"This fucking sucks..." You grumbled while staring down at the broken dagger in your hand. It was almost a good day- ALMOST. It was damn-near perfect until you ran into that yiga archer. Sure, he was dealt with in a timely manner, but you didn't walk away without a few harsh wounds... The arrow was still sticking out of your calf. And, of course, the loss of your gorgeous blade. The hilt had become completely unattached from the rest of the dagger, and it made your pace quicken to find the armory faster. Your wounds weren't as important as this and your bloodied leg could wait. With a groan, you paced down the hall; glancing through the different wooden doors.

Finally, you found the room you were searching for and entered hastily, not even noticing the arrogant Rito making repairs on his own beautiful weapon. He, however, very much noticed you and the small trail of blood that followed behind you. "What in Hylia's name happened to you?" He asked while eyeing you. His tone was his usual snobbish "I don't actually give a fuck" voice, but it did also sound ever-so-slightly concerned.

Without even turning around, you scanned the table with metal blades; searching for the perfect one. "Yiga. Fucker broke my dagger." You answered quickly.

"Right... And that's more important than the arrow in your leg?"

"What kind of question is that? Of course it's more important! Dumbass!" You huffed angrily as you glanced over to him. That's when you blinked and did a double-take. "Holy shit, what happened to your bow??" Never in your life have you seen Revali's weapon in such a terrible state.

His jade green eyes glared at you with a fiery rage just barely being suppressed. "I believe that is none of your damn business." He growled lowly.

You, of course, didn't even bother to try and take the hint to maybe leave him alone. Instead, you started to tease. "What a surprise! The great Rito Champion's weapon was damaged?" You feigned a gasp and put a hand over your heart. "My whole life has been nothing but a lie!"

Revali rolled his eyes. "Don't you dare try to stand there and berate ME for a slight incident with my bow. You're the one with a broken dagger and an ARROW IN YOUR LEG." Then, he smirked, and it was clear he was beginning to have fun with this. "Are you perhaps attempting to belittle me to make your failures seem less... catastrophic?"

You gritted your teeth and turned around with a forced smile. "Oh yes, of course! We'll go with that since your arrogant, tiny bird brain is so narrow-minded that you won't be able to accept any other answer!" You exclaimed in an overly-cheerful tone. Then, you both stood up and met in the middle of the room. You had to look up to meet his eyes since he was much taller than you.

"I apologize; you are so far to the ground I can't quite hear you. Would you kindly speak up?" He asked sarcastically.

You growled and took another step towards him. "Y'know, you're one insult away from starting a war." You threatened.

"Oh, and what weapons do you plan to use against me? Last I checked, your only defense was split in two!" Revali laughed.

You smirked and gestured to the entire room full of different weapons. "Everything in this room can kill you. But," You glared up at him with the most serious face. "I guarantee I can do it most efficiently."

You stared each other down for a good ninety seconds before you broke out laughing while Revali silently chuckled. "Honestly. We are truly ridiculous."

"N-No kidding!" You wheezed. "The hell is wrong with us?"

"We really should see a professional," Revali commented jokingly.

You laughed so hard that you fell forward; taking the other champion down with you. "We should." You said while hugging him; your laughs dying down to giggles. "But we've got more important things to do."

"Agreed." Revali sighed and finally got back on his feet, bringing you along with him. "To the infirmary."

You whined like a child and stomped your good leg. "I'm okay!" You insisted though, you were keeping pressure off of your good foot. "I need to fix my dagger first, pleaseeee!!"

But the Rito would have none of that. Without a word, he grabbed and threw you over his shoulder, silently walking down the hall toward the castle infirmary.

He HOPED you would have gone quietly without causing trouble. Unfortunately, you were just as stubborn as always, even with an arrow in your leg. You went. Kicking. And. Screaming. "REVALIIIIIII!!!! PUT ME DOWN YOU FUCKING OVERGROWN CUCCOO!!!" He yelled at the top of your lungs. No response. "REVALI, I'M GONNA FUCKING FEED YOU TO MY CATS!!!!!"

"You don't have cats." Got em.

"I WILL GET SOME CATS, THEN, YOU FUCKING THANKSGIVING DINNER!! I SWEAR TO HYLIA, YOU AND I ARE FUCKI-"

And that's exactly how the rest of your day went. Yelling insults while getting patched up. Even after forced to use a pair of crutches, you chased Revali around while cursing him to hell. What a beautiful relationship!