Chapter 3 Am I ready ?

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"I...I don't even know him how am I going to marry someone I don't even know !?" I asked  feeling annoyed and upset at the same time . If that's even an emotion. I just found out my parents betrayed me , give me a break.

My mother stood up and said
" Sorry that this was the way you found out but it's done ,Your marrying him and that's final .We're meeting him and his mother tomorrow over lunch to discuss"

I can't believe they are actually going to let me go through with this . I really thought they loved me but their giving me away to some stranger. Me their only daughter and child . Their giving me away , like some old T-shirt they don't want to  wear anymore .

Tears started to well up in my eyes as sadness and betrayel started to take the place of my anger and frustration

" Maybe it's best if you go and get some rest honey , you have a lot to think about " my dad said placing a kiss on my forehead before leaving .

Yeah , I did have a lot think about, how my futute is decided for me , how I'm forced into something I don't want , how I had absolutely no say in this whats so ever.

My only question was why ?

Why are they doing this ?

Why did they choose me and not some other fortunate girl who maybe wanted this ?

I didn't want this ! I didn't want any of this !

So I dragged myself up to bed my feet feeling heavier with each step I take . I went to go shower and just stood there for a while with the water running down my back thinking and processing everything that just happend .

I'm getting married . To a stranger before I'm even 18... woah...who would've known this was how my life ended ? As a teenage bride. Sold as a teenage bride by birth . Not me that's for sure .

I just stood there , thinking , trying to figure a way out of this , yet nothing came to mind .

***
That night I could hardly sleep , my head was filled with questions and concerns like Am I ready? , Am I going to be a good wife ? How am I going to cope with this resposibility ?How do you even prepare for something like this? And What does he think ? Does he feel the same way I do about this ?  Or is he happy about this ?Is he a decent human being or some jerk ?Why me ?  Why did they pick me and not someone else ? Why now ?

My whole mind shifted from anger out brusts to fear , making me question my whole existance  .

The questions just filling my thoughts the entire night I could hardly get any sleep at all. I don't think anyone would if they were dealing with what I am .

So I just stared up at the cealing , the darkness that surrounded me being my only comfort , the only thing bringing peace and contentment to my busy mind and aching heart. 

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