Because You Need Someone: Book 1 in the Need Trilogy: The Pack: Merome

Chapter Thirty-Three: Getting Help

Well guys..I have bad news...well bad news for all you at least, not for me. Most of you know that I'm Head of my school's Sound Department for Musical, Plays, sometimes school dances, and Shakespeare festivities for the last four years now...well it is starting up again (I got out of doing it for Homecoming by convincing them to hire a DJ) which means that from now on until early March, updates for all of my books aren't gonna happen as much as you all are use to..just fair warning so you all are aware of that because some of you are not. Enjoy the chapter! :)

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Mitch sat on the couch with his knees close to his chest, saying nothing. Lillian made the suggestion that Mitch should try a therapist and she will drive him there and back, so he did it to make her feel better. Mitch had the intention to talk, but now that he is actually here...he's too scared to. His eyes look over at Carrie, she has a clipboard and a pen in her hand. Carrie gives Mitch a little smile.

"It's okay if you don't want to talk, Mitch." Carrie said. She stood up and walked over to her desk. She picks up some papers. "How a about instead of talking, you fill out this survey? Some people do this if they are too scared to speak." Carrie walks over to Mitch, Mitch takes the clipboard and the pen. "Ask me if you have any questions, I'll be other here so just say something." Mitch nods, Carrie goes over to her desk that is on thee other side of the room. Mitch lowers his knees a little and puts the clipboard against his thighs. He looks at the survey.  He writes his name on it. 'Okay..lets just try this.' He thought. He begins to read the questions to himself. He went through the first few no problem because it was just asking about his family and family history, but when it got to personal stuff he stopped, staring at it.

'Have you every had thoughts or have hurt yourself on purpose? Yes or No or sometimes.' Mitch read to himself. Mitch looked at his sleeved covered arms, knowing that underneath were dozens and dozens of scars that he put on himself. Mitch was about to circle yes, but he circled no instead and he hand shook as he did knowing he is lying.

'Have you ever had thoughts of suicide or falling asleep wishing you never woke up again? Yes or No or Sometimes.' Mitch read to himself. Mitch's eyes water, his tears fall down his cheeks. He circles in 'no' for every question not wanting to do this survey anymore.  He than stares at it. 'I shouldn't have done that, I should have been honest..why is it so hard for me to be open with someone? Why?' Mitch thought. Carrie suddenly sides down in front of Mitch. Mitch doesn't look at her.

"So...How's it coming?" Carrie asks. Mitch gives the survey to her. She looks through it. "You finished it, but tell me..did you fill it with lies or truths?" Mitch meets her eyes, shocked. Carrie smiles a little. "You aren't the first person to fill this out, Mitch. I know how people are, they get scared and cover up the real answer to make themselves seen okay, when they aren't." Mitch's eyes drop.

"G-Give me another one..I'll fill it oht truthfully." Mitch said. Carrie turns towards him a little.

"Are you still not gonna talk to me?"

"Every time I try to talk to someone, they don't care or they say I'm being overdramatic." Mitch said. Carrie shakes her head.

"No. No I wouldn't do that." She said. She puts the clipboard on the side table and looks at Mitch. "Anything you say Mitch will not leave this room, nothing at all unless you want it too. The only things that will leave is if you are gonna hurt or kill yourself, because then I would have to do something to make sure that you're gonna be okay. I can tell that you aren't comfortable with this, I can tell the moment you walked in here that you wanted to walk straight out." Mitch looks away from her. She looks over at the clipboard. "What do you like to do, Mitch?" She looks at him. He stays quiet. She turns towards him. "You left a lot of blanks on the survey before you came in here.....Is there a reason as to why?" Mitch stayed quiet for a while, his eyes flicker to her. He looks down at his knees.

"They would just be lies.." Mitch said.

"Why would they be lies?" She asks him.

"Because it's been over a year since anything made me happy, so..I forget what I liked to do because it was so long ago." Mitch said. She nods and stands up. She walks over to her desk.

"You are a YouTuber? Correct?" She asks. Mitch hesitates.

"I was..But...I'm afraid to do that again." He said softly. She pulled out a notebook and a pencil. She walked over to him and sit in her chair.

"Why is that?" She asks him. He gripped his jeans on his hands, staring at the couch cushion in front of him. He felt tears form behind his eyes threatening to come out so he looked away from her.

"I can't handle the hate anymore. Everyone thinks they know me when they don't, they only saw the me on camera, they never saw the real me because I kept the real me hidden from everyone." Mitch said shaky. She nodded.

"Did doing the videos at first make you happy? Did you enjoy doing it?" She asks him. He nodded.

"Yeah, I loved doing it, but as time went on...things changed and....I just wish I never started it and did something else instead of YouTube because than I never would have met Jessica." Mitch said softly at the end.

"Who's Jessica?" Carrie asks him. Mitch flinched slightly, Carrie sets the notebook and pencil down on the sidetable. "I'm not forcing you to answer anything, Mitch." Mitch looks away from her. 'I don't want to be here anymore. I.....' Mitch thought. Lillian goes through his mind. 'I promised her that I would try to make this therapy thing work. I promised..But I....' He thought.

"C-Can..we talk about something else?" Mitch asks. Carrie nods.

"Of course. What was your YouTube channel?" She asks.

"Bajancanadian." Mitch said. Carrie nods.

"I knew you sounded familiar. My son watches your channel." She said. Mitch looks at her.

"Really?" He asks.

"Yeah." She said. Mitch looks down at the cushions again.

"I've tried to make videos...I can't make it through them.." Mitch said. She smiles a little.

"Have you tried showing the real you to your viewers?" She asks. Mitch hesitates, thinking, he nods.

"I got more hate than support...that was the last video I posted." Mitch said. She picks up the notebook.

"I'm gonna give you something, a notebook. Do with it what you want, it might help writing stuff down. I wrote my number on the first page if you need to talk. But we ran out of time, do you want to schedule another appointment?" Carrie asks. Mitch takes the notebook.

"Lillian would want me to." Mitch said.

"But do you want to? This is about you, Mitch, not Lillian." She said. Mitch looks at her, thinking. He nods.

"Yeah...let's do another." Mitch said. She stands up and walks over to her desk.

"How about Friday, this week, at 1 pm?" She asks him. Mitch nods.

"Okay." He said.