His Fatal Obsession

Thoughts

Antonio POV

I walked home in a trail of thoughts. What have I done? I peeped on Milagros without her knowing. I felt terrible, but at the same time, I did not. Am I a horrible person?

I know what I did was wrong, but there was a side to me that wanted to look through that open space. I saw Milagros' body, and it was the most beautiful body I have ever seen. I have slept with many women. She was just angelic and mystifying.

I felt that I was getting hard again, and I immediately stopped my perverted thoughts. I did not want more negativity if someone saw me. I already have a bad reputation because of my birth. I don't want to make it even worse. I finally got home.

I opened the door and closed it once I got inside. It was dark, but when I turned on the light, everything was in sight. Another night in my home...alone.

Something I was so used to and something I accepted that I would come to a home with no one it but myself. I accepted the harsh reality. Yet, there was a part of me that wanted someone in my life. I will admit, I hate the loneliness that I have to live through every single day. 

If possible, I want to get married and have children, at least two children or maybe more. There were times when I dreamed of coming home, having my wife and children waiting for me, giving me hugs and kisses, just them being happy that I was alive. A tear formed, and I did not wipe it away. Ever since I was a child, whenever I shed a tear, I would wipe it away, thinking it was a weakness. As I grew older, I gave that up. I let my tears fall.

I am tired of pretending that all the things have gone through did not affect me. They did. I was a broken man. I did try committing suicide. Once when I was ten, by eating poisonous plants. My grandfather caught me. I was beaten for it. When I turned twenty-one, I found a gun in a forest. It had one bullet, and I was about to shoot myself, but an older man walked through and stopped me.

He told me not to give up hope and that he had faith that happiness would come my way. He took the gun away and went on his way. I didn't believe him until now. Milagros was different and brought feelings I never knew or felt before. I looked at the bracelet she left behind. I touched it; it got a warm feeling to me.

A sense of hope.

A hope that I did not want to fade away. Tomorrow will be another day, and maybe it will give me the chance to be with her more.