BoTW Oneshots

Puns - Sidon

Requested by @TearsOf_AnAngel
(This is an AU I guess where the Champions were resurrected after Ganon was defeated. Let's just pretend because this is fanfiction.)
Enjoy!

(By the way, the reads went down because I deleted some A/Ns because I had a lot.)

"Seriously, that's not a legendary torch, Yolero," I say to a boy trying to whack the heck out of a training dummy with a torch.

"I am the legendary hero chosen by the Torch to bring peace and justice to this world!" Yolero brings down another hit on the training dummy, right from the top. A painful snap sounds out from the torch.

The so-called "legendary torch" is broken in half.

"PFF—HA! Told ya it ain't legendary," I laugh as Yolero falls to his knees, tears pricking his eyes, at the sight of the snapped torch.

He sobs something about the torch incoherently, to my response of sighing annoyedly.

This guy, honestly. The whole stable here is nuts. I need a break by the river. Walking down to the river, I leap over a few rocks and sit on a larger rock sticking out of the river. It's a beautiful and safe place in Hyrule now that Ganon is dead.

Closing my eyes and letting my head fall back, I let my face soak up the sun. It's been raining all day.

"Hey, (Nm)!" A familiar voice calls.

I open my eyes and scan the water. It's Sidon!

"Yooo, Sidon! I see you're doing well," I say back enthusiastically. He's a fun guy to be around.

"Yes, I am quite. It's nice and warm here. Zora's Domain is getting cold now,"

Good time for a terrible pun.

"That's cool. Hopefully I don't have to come ice-fishing to get you out of there," I do my usual finger guns.

Sidon tilts his head to the side confusedly. (Or should I say cod-fusedly) He still doesn't get my masterful puns. What a disappointment.

Blinking a few times, he shrugs it off.

"Mipha's back in town. Would you like to come meet her?" Sidon offers.

Oooh! Meet a Champion? That'd be cool. I wonder what good jokes I could make?

"Would I ever?! Yes!"

"Well then, let's head there. Jump on my back. Don't worry about it, as Link has done it too,"

Not giving it too much second thought, I jump onto Sidon's back.

"NYOOM!" We speed along the river, bending up and past Hyrule castle, we finally reach the Lanayru Tower.

"I'm gonna have to rest for a little bit. Wanna walk for a little bit?" Sidon pants slightly. I'd be long tired after swimming for about 50 meters. This guy has swam like 5 kilometres while barely breaking a sweat. Man, he's a good swimmer.

Wading through the wetland, yet another familiar voice screeches out followed by a huge metal Clang! and explosion.

Nearing around where the big explosion was, a huge Goron wielding a huge Boulder Breaker stood, admiring his work. Only one Goron could wield a Boulder Breaker. It's Daruk!

"Hey, Daruk! How're you doing?!" I shout out behind him. He turns around with a huge grin on his face.

"(Nm)! How're you? You're rockin' that hood right there." He finger guns me.

"Thinking you're gonna steel my jokes, hey?"

"Hehe, not today. Hullo Sidon!" Daruk sees Sidon approaching from behind me.

"Daruk, Champion of Vah Rudania, pleasure to meet you," Sidon bows, getting all formal.

"No need for formalities, Sidon. You're Mipha's brother. You don't have to be formal with me," He waves off Sidon's formality with an awkward smile.

"I'm actually kinda hungry. I'm gonna be right back," Sidon says. A small growl comes from his stomach.

"Pfft, go and find some fish, fish prince," I tell him.

Lowering my voice, I lean closer to Daruk and whisper yell to him. "Dude, I need your help with Sidon. He doesn't understand any of my puns,"

Daruk looks like he's thinking hard. "Try and tell him some easy jokes, or puns he'd understand,"

"I'll try,"

Later that day, I've been trying to slip in small jokes here and there while talking to Sidon, but he still hasn't understood them. Sitting by myself at Zora's Domain, I try and soak up any remaining sunshine from the setting sun. The cast of the sunshine reflects off the Domain, lighting it up like a diamond hitting light. They really do make it out of Luminous stone.

"How dazzling," I whisper to myself from my perch on a rock. I seem to like sitting on rocks.

"Hey, (Nm)," Sidon says from behind me.

I look over my shoulder to find Sidon hopping up onto my rock to sit next to me.

"The Domain really is quite shiny when the sun reflects it at a certain angle. Like water,"

"Well, I guess you guys are fish," I say.

Sidon looks down at me in his usual confused stare.

"What?"

"Nevermind,"

We sit in silence for a while, just watching the blues and purples of the Domain fade to oranges and pinks and then to blacks and blues.

"You're more quiet than usual this afternoon. Is everything okay?" Sidon breaks the silence after a bit.

"Yeah, I guess... do you understand my jokes?"

Sidon looks once again confused. He then shakes his head a little bit.

"Oh c'mon. It's obvious. They're always about fish or rocks, or whatever is in context. But yeah... I'm always saying stupid jokes because I feel like it's the one thing I'm actually good at,"

"How so?"

I adjust my head on my arms, my eyes cast down at my feet.

"Everyone is good at something else. I'm not a really good swimmer, fighter, flier, scholar... I'm not really special like that in anyway. I'm really just a big jokester who hides their loneliness behind jokes,"

Silence.

More silence.

Even more silenc—"You say you're lonely and the only way you don't feel like that is when you are being funny?"

I nod my head. An arm wraps around my back.

"Y'know, you shouldn't be lonely. I'm your friend, even if I don't understand your jokes. Maybe you could teach me how to make puns and jokes?" Sidon looks down at me with hopeful eyes.

"Sure," I let out a small smile.

"I believe I can do it!" Sidon does his signature smile and hand motion whenever he's being encouraging.

I can't help but laugh at him.

"Alright. Lesson one..."

I teach him how to make puns and how to tell when something is a pun all night.

"Where is a fish in orbit?" Sidon attempts a joke.

"Where?"

"In trouter space," Sidon grins widely.

"Not bad," I laugh "Cod be better. Let minnow,"

And with that, we high fived. What a great night.