When?

15. "Harry, help me."

A/N: Hey, guys, this chapter is pretty intense and I worked really hard on it so tell me what you think please :) btw, the gif to the right broke my heart :( ily all x

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Harry

I didn’t know what to do with all of… this. I was never the one to feel it all at once. I learned how to manage my emotions, and handle them one at a time, but when I heard her voice, when she spoke those words, I couldn’t help but lose all control.

 “ Harry-“ Louis voice interfered with my train of thoughts, as he opened the door forcefully.

“ She called me.” I stopped him, because I needed to get it out of my system.

“ What did she say?” He asked, his eyes widening in shock.

“ She apologized, and she said that she’d take it back if she could because she fucked me up and what not. She- she wasn’t herself, Louis. She was beyond wasted, and broken, and sad, and just- I don’t know what I should do. I don’t know where she is. I am going mad here.”

“ I might have an idea.”

What did he mean?

Did she call him too?

Louis pulled his phone out of his pocket, playing some sort of voicemail.

“ Mate, remember that girl that you walked home the other day at the bar? She’s here again, but she seems way gone compared to the last time. Her boyfriend is eating her face off man, I just thought I should let you know.”

That was Zayn; one of my his friends. That girl was Judith. The sorrow and apology in Louis’ eyes confirmed my thoughts. I needed to sit down. I felt as if life was being drained from my body. I could no longer function properly.

“ Harry,” He started, with a sigh, as I felt him taking a few steps towards me.

“ I don’t know what to do, Louis. I don’t know how to help her. For the first time in my life, the question isn’t when, it’s what if, and it’s so much worse than thinking of the timing because you consider every aspect of your life. What if I went to the bar and she shut me down again? What if I didn’t go and something happened to her?”

“ I – I don’t know what to tell you, Harry.” He confessed.

 “ She’s my best friend, Lou. She’s all I’ve got. But I’ll have to see her drugged and drunk and I’m not sure I’ll be able to handle it. One can only take so much shit happening to the person they care for most, before they can’t take anymore. I want to remember my Judith, Louis. And I don’t want this Judith to ruin her for me. If I – if I lost Judith, then I want the last memory I have of her to be good and joyful, or else, I’d never be able to live past it.” I tiredly rested my forehead against his stomach, as he laid a supportive hand onto my head.

“ I –“ Her ringtone filled the air, interrupting him. I lifted my head, scanning my surroundings for my phone. I needed to hear her voice. I needed to know what more she needed for me, because I wanted to do it all for her. I allowed my eyes to meet Louis’, before picking up.

“ Harry, help me.” Was all she had to say, only, she didn’t say it, she screamed it. Inside, I was screaming for her to tell me what was wrong, reassuring her that I would be right there, and that everything would be okay. On the outside, I was completely silent. Louis shook me, attempting to bring me back to life, but I was too consumed by her sobbing voice.

“ What’s happening? What did she say? Jesus, Harry, just tell me.”

“ I – I have to help her.” I ran to the door, Louis shortly following me. He made some phone calls, mostly to Zayn, I supposed, asking him to look for Judith. While I, I prepared myself for the worst, knowing that what I would see, would traumatize me.

We got to the bar, and Zayn greeted us by the door. He was with Liam and Niall. My eyes scanned the surroundings for Judith’s familiar face but she was nowhere to be found.

“ I went out to call you and when I got back, she wasn’t here. Her boyfriend isn’t here either.” Zayn explained.

“ Have you searched the bathrooms?” Louis asked, his voice panicked.

“ Men and women, yeah, she isn’t here, man.” Zayn said again. I felt Louis laying a consoling hand on my shoulder, but I couldn’t handle any human interaction right now. I needed to find her. And only her. I walked further away from them, before grabbing my phone, to dial her number. I waited and waited for my ringtone to echo in the stuffed place, but nothing ever came. I dialed and dialed, but there was no sign of Judith. By then, I was going mad, absolutely mad, as thousands of possibilities ran through my head.

“ Maybe we should look somewhere else, Harry, they probably left together.” Louis said, but I shook my head. She didn’t leave with him. She called me, and literally cried for help. Something was wrong with her. Something very, very bad was happening. There was sudden movement around the bar, people were crowding towards the back door, their shots still in hand, smoke blurring our sight. I followed, not knowing what else to do. I couldn’t hear past my pounding heart, I could barely get any air flowing through my lungs, as the tears burned behind my eyelids. And then I saw her. Wrapped in a ball against the wall, her clothes torn, her entire figure trembling, as tears cascaded down her face, dissolving into her black mascara. My eyes followed her arms, with blue marks along their length, as they covered her ears. She was shutting down, taking herself away. Wordlessly, I approached her, while Louis and the boys headed to Todd, who was pinned against the wall. I bent on my knees, unable to contain the wreckage ahead of me. This was Judith. This wasn’t my Judith. No. This couldn’t possibly be her. My Judith would have been kicking Todd in the balls, listing all the curse words known to human. My Judith would have been forcefully pulled away from Todd so that she wouldn’t cause him anymore harm. People would have been praising my Judith for giving Todd a piece of her mind. This Judith wasn’t mine. I didn’t know this Judith. I had no way around this Judith. I took her arm in mine, tracing the cuts, the bruises, the syringe marks. This wasn’t my Judith’s arm. My Judith’s arm would be jammed with black bracelets and rings. I felt her body relaxing under my touch, but the trembling grew more intense, so did the sobs, as she continued to shake his head, as if ridding herself from images that only she could see. My eyes dared to rise to meet her own, but they were closed shut. My Judith had beautiful eyes. My Judith would have met my gaze. My eyes wandered to examine her unfamiliar features. My Judith wasn’t that pale. My Judith’s lips were fuller than those cracked lips in front of me.

“ Take her out of here, Harry.” Louis whispered into my ear. I rose from my sitting position, shaking my head.

“ I can’t. I’ll go get the guest room ready.” And with that, I forced my eyes not to look back at the wrecked stranger Louis was now carrying. I forced my feet to take me home, before they had completely given up on me. I forced my heart to keep quite because its screams were too loud, its cries were too painful, and I needed to let my mind take over. I needed to untangle the maze forming in my head. I needed to forget. Forget this Judith, and remember my Judith. This Judith killed.