Benjamin McAllister is the Queen's Man working in secret for King and Crown. It riddled his past with intrigue, war, and death. It was no place for a woman. Such comforts as marriage, family, and love were not to be his.
However, one woman had chan...
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It had been weeks since he left Bentley Manor. Juliana was a gracious hostess despite the reason he had come. She truly was a Lady in both title and grace, even offering him a ray of hope before he had left.
"Never give up. If you're truly meant to be, she will return to you. She must for she could not possibly survive without you."
He knew Juliana spoke of her feelings for Richard. He only prayed Clara still held him in such regard, but his faith was surely being tested.
"I will take this sullen manner no longer. What is to be done with you?" Mr. Brummell asked looking at his poor excuse for a friend. In the weeks that past Benjamin McAllister had become but a shadow of himself. If things persisted Beau feared his friend would disappear completely.
"It's been weeks without a word. Nothing on the ships, Clara... I can barely stand it any longer and I am trapped here protecting a selfish..."
"Now, now!" Brummell interrupted, not wishing his friend to finish a sentence that would ban him from all civilized society.
Benjamin looked up at him surprised to be stifled but saw the sense to his friend's actions. "You are right of course. Conversing in this manner gets me nowhere."
"Cheer up, Benji. I am certain there will be news soon," Brummell rallied though in his heart he felt, even if there were news, it could not possibly be good. To find Benjamin's elusive Clara, who evidently went to great lengths to be certain she was not found, would be a miracle.
Benjamin fell to his usual standby to get him through. "Any news I should concern myself with?"
"Well, Prinny is not exactly the best with making friends. Mind you many vie for his favor but his over indulgences in just about everything has put many of importance to the side. They are... disgusted with him."
"So, his list of enemies grows, as does the unrest of his people," Benjamin said frowning. The frown had become a nearly permanent feature of his. If he was not frowning he just looked stoic.
"I fear you are correct," Brummel said, despising more and more the time he was obliged to spend with the Prince Regent.
Benjamin pushed his plate away from him. He had no appetite. He wondered why he even chose to meet Brummel at the Savoy except for the fact that he was going mad, being alone with his own thoughts.
Every day his eyes open. Every day she is gone. Dead? Alive? No answers, only more questions with each passing moment. He deadened all clocks in his flat; the infernal tick, ticking became a tormenting reminder of each second passing. He could take it no longer.
If only he could bear to answer the question of why? Why did she leave him? Was life so horrid? Was he so neglectful? He always knew he did not deserve her but surely he had shown by his words and deeds how much he loved her. No, she could not be in doubt of that. So, does she no longer care?
