Always, Marinette • adrienette au

15 || sky

Adrien looked at the sky. It was a clear blue that reminded him of Marinette's eyes. It was beautiful, but also a heart-wrenching reminder. The sky was alive, he was alive, but Marinette wasn't.

He was tempted to go to the Dupain-Cheng bakery to see how Sabine was doing, but his body felt like a stone. Adrien was losing weight but he felt heavy all the time. He supposed it was the weight of the world or the overwhelming guilt he felt about living.

Why should he live when he didn't want to? Why did Marinette die if all she ever wanted was to live?

The bitter taste of guilt resided on his tongue and tasted worse than the cold coffee he was living off of. No matter how many times he brushed his teeth he could still taste it even if the awful taste was smothered in mint. His dentist would be impressed, Adrien's teeth had never been cleaner.

He sucked in a large breath of air into his lungs and held it until he couldn't anymore. He welcomed his next breath with big gulps.

Breathing was so simple. It was easy and mundane. You didn't even think about it.

But it was Marinette's undoing. Near the end of her life, she wouldn't be able to perform the simple task on her own. The tubes and machines would breathe for her and her chest would move mechanically to a rhythm that wasn't quite Marinette. Her lungs refused to take in oxygen no matter how much her brain screamed for it. Her body fighting against her. It was her own body that was killing her. Marinette eventually grew too weak to breathe on her own, something she had been doing since she was born.

It was scary.

One minute you were breathing and the next you weren't. Adrien held his breath again and thoughts of her flittered through his mind. When he thought he would pass out he took a grateful breath. One he didn't want and one he didn't think he deserved. When his breathing even out, he stopped thinking and just started doing. He was trying to distract himself from thoughts of her from thoughts of the only girl he ever loved, Marinette.

He got up from his bed and got dressed like he normally would. Adrien turned off his lamp. He got his bag ready and left her diary on his desk. He shut his bedroom door and walked down the stairs. He called a quiet goodbye to the people in his house and stepped outside. Adrien stopped thinking of Marinette and went on with his busy day.