Bad Boys Don't Cry

Chapter Forty Four: Everything Will Be Different

Chapter Forty Four: Everything Will Be Different

*•*•Bailey's POV•*•*
It's Christmas Eve, a day after Max's passing. Everyone was staying in Bennett's house because no one wanted anyone to be alone and no one wanted to deal with the press asking questions and making false allegations from what occurred. After visiting and clearing up with the police with what occurred at the station, everyone agreed to let everything die down before returning back home for the New Years.

Cal, Carson, Bennett, Parker, Grayson and myself were all at the moment sitting in the living room, all of them staring into nothingness, trying to comprehend what occurred a day before excluding Cal, who was happily playing with his elephant stuffed animal that was much more bigger than him and Luke, Elly, Dylan, Ms. Barrow and Kendall, who were out in the town getting who knows what. It was the afternoon and we all had just arrived and settled into the house. The night before we all had slept over in Parker's house. Grayson hasn't said a word since we left the morgue to say our final goodbyes before we see Max's body again at the viewing before the funeral that was going to happen on the thirtieth- six days from now. None of us had made a sound since we set foot in the house except for Cal.

I was the one assigned to Cal when he started his tantrums ever since the lot of them left to the town because literally no one paid any attention to him at all. Not even Parker.

It was when Cal started to become more mobile in my arms that I had decided I wanted some air. Bringing Cal, one of his toys, and the blanket that Dylan had told me to use if we ever went outside to play with me, I stood up and made my way outside to the backyard. Before going out, I put on Cal's shoes, hat, and sweater after putting on my sweater and shoes on myself.

Taking a step into the backyard, a cold breeze brushed passed us, feeling almost comforting to me. Placing the toy down first so I could have a free arm, I put down the blanket before placing Cal onto it.

Giving him the loud toy, I smiled when he began mindlessly playing and pressing the buttons on it that made noises that would please any child. Cal was the only ray of sunshine in the house at the moment and it felt good to see something smile and laugh to its hearts content.

Not noticing the sound of a door opening behind me, I found my voice and started to talk to the little child even if he couldn't understand me.

"You're getting big aren't you little Cal-y." I cooed as I caressed his head, giving him a sad smile when he laughs at the toy in front of him paying no heed to me, "I'm sorry that you won't be able to see Uncle Max anymore." I apologized, my voice getting quiet, "You know, when he first laid his eyes on you, he wouldn't let anyone else have you. He cared for you so much even if you weren't his part of his family. Maybe he even loved you. Who knows? Because he got killed yesterday because I was being stupid. I was so, so stupid. I'm stupid, Cal." My voice was getting weaker and weaker the more I went on. The next thing I know, I was at a full blown sob once the last words came out of my mouth, "All I do is mess things up. I should've kept out of this. This is all my fault. I'm so stupid. I'm so sorry, Max."

It was then when I felt a hand on my back when my sobs ceased and my whole body froze. I didn't want to cry in front of anyone, but somehow, when I felt the person behind me place me into a tight embrace, I relaxed into their hold and leaned back letting the tears freely stream down my face.

Looking behind me, I see Carson's nonchalant face as he hugs me, refusing to even look at me, "I'm so sorry-"

"Stop saying you're sorry." He said, his voice says with no emotions, "I'm just going to put it bluntly, okay? Life is full of shit and is never fair." His tone was rough and unwavering.