Entity

Thinking

It is humid,
As I soak up chlorine I tried to picture my life.

My hair is taking in chlorine,
And my mind can not stop thinking.

Overflowing as I sink to the bottom of the pool that felt so cooling.

I use to think I could take on all my feelings and emotions alone.
In that I learned I will break,
And wither as if my existence was insignificant.

Even if I felt I was no greater than sand,
Or the wind that blew or even the chlorine that mixed with my skin.

"What if I never came up from this water",
I thought to myself.

Knowing that this thought alone was self destructive.

And for fact I knew better,
Was better than any ominous thought.

That I have come such a long way what a waste all this growth and healing would be.

But to me,
My sadness is all I got.

As ridiculous as it seems and sounds,
Maybe all of this would amount to something greater.

I'm parched,
My throat is dry.

As this hot weather melts my brain,
My horrible thoughts remain.

It's silly,
Even harming.

But who am I?
Who am I without these feelings that run so deep I almost turned black and blue.

Perhaps this poison is deeply rooted and causing me to hallucinate.

Dream about things that make me cry,
And sigh my chest felt as if it would cave.

But in the end,
It's all good.

No matter what I'll be fine,
Even if I could wish upon a dime.
This slime that sticks to me,
Stickily among my skin,
I know in the end these thoughts and feelings are no ones but mine.
Em.