Translation of Love

43

Countdown

"This should be interesting," I say to myself as we all walk through the cold air. It's New Year's Eve, and thanks to Max who is DJing a big party tonight, I'm dressed up in heels and a dress.

Koko walks with her arm linked through mine. Her eyes sparkle with excitement and she goes on and on about something Max said about the party. Taeyoung walks beside me, his hands in his coat pockets.

Once we finally arrive, I'm actually relieved. It's way too cold outside for bare legs.

Koko says something to the bouncer, who looks at some list and lets us through. She grabs my hands and squeals before leading us through the crowd of people. This place is huge and expensive looking. People are dressed up, equipped with New Year's champagne glasses and air horns at the ready. We reach the very front, where the DJ is. The set up is grandiose and stands much higher than the dancefloor. We climb up the stairs.

"Oh excuse me, everyone, my hot girlfriend and friends have arrived," Max charismatically calls through the mic before leaving his spot.

He immediately pulls Koko into a hug, his dimples showing on his face. He claps hands with Taeyoung and waves at me.

"You guys look great," he compliments. "You can head up those stairs, to the VIP section," he points to an area above us. "I'll join before the countdown starts."

We nod and head where he told us to go. It's a lot quieter and less crowded upstairs, which I greatly appreciate. We get a booth equipped with a big table and sit comfortably. A bar staff member comes up to us and asks what we'd like to drink.

"I shouldn't," I say aloud.

"It's okay baby, I'm here. Enjoy yourself." Taeyoung wraps an arm around me.

Eventually, Koko and I are dancing to Max's mix, watching him from the balcony and calling out to him. Taeyoung just sits and watches with a smile. Minjun and Junwoo arrive with a friend of theirs after a while. They keep Taeyoung company while Koko and I dance together. The time seems to fly by like this; Koko's arm around me, her smile so wide that it seems to be permanent, the boys' laughter mixing in with the music. I was never one to celebrate New Years like this, out with friends. It was often spent at home, but I never minded. I loved the exciting feelings the impending year change brought, that feeling as if you can become a whole new person starting at midnight. Of course, things never really seemed to change much, or at least not until this past year.

This New Year's Eve however, I can't help but feel empty of those excited emotions. It feels like I'm out having fun, just because I want to and not because the year is almost over. Sometimes, when Koko leaves to get a drink, I find myself staring out into nothing; my arms draped over the railing lazily, my mind slowly numbing as the feelings of emptiness consume me. If I'm strong enough, I'm able to turn away from that seducing mindset and walk over to the booth where Taeyoung sits with a loose grin.

"Sohee," Taeyoung arms lift up, anticipating my body to fall into his embrace. I scooch Minjun over, which causes him to jokingly yell at me, and deliver myself into Taeyoung's warm arms. I keep my head huddled against his chest for a moment, feeling the security of his being and watching as my empty emotions wash away.

"No girls allowed," the pissed off boy beside me says. I lift my head up to glare at him, but he glares just as harshly back at me.

"Yah, Minjun, you're too wasted to know what a girl is at this point," Taeyoung makes fun of the boy, who is definitely a bit too drunk already. Minjun just frowns and turns his attention to the friend I don't know who is talking to Junwoo. Taeyoung turns back to look down at me. His fingers skim my hot cheeks lightly.