Translation of Love

44

First

My breathing grows shallow as I continue to look at the two people who are both frozen in place. The girl finally moves first, taking a few hesitant steps forward, her eyes still fixated on Taeyoung's.

Who is she?

I can't help but feel invisible as I helplessly stand with my hand meekly holding onto the sleeve of Taeyoung's shirt. I'm shrunken in size in comparison to them—their eye level completely cutting me out of their frame of vision.

"Taeyoung?" The girl's unfamiliar voice causes me to stop breathing for a moment. She knows him? Taeyoung doesn't respond, his gaze not changing one bit.

"Taeyoung," she pauses, looking a bit unsure of what to say, "It's been so long, hasn't it," she softly laughs a bit at the end.

The silence from the boy beside me seems to hush the whole room. Why isn't he doing anything? I've never seen him like this, so phased by something.

"How are you? I've been wanting to see you again..." The girl keeps trying to get a response, but it's no use. I actually feel a bit bad for her.

I turn back to Taeyoung and tug on him harder. "Oppa, what's wrong?" I softly ask.

The girl's gaze finally moves down to meet me. I feel so tiny as her sharp eyes consume me. She is undeniably pretty, like an ulzzang, although it's hard to believe that all of her facial features are natural. Either way, she has an effect even on me.

It's her. It must be her. Yerin.

"Who's this?" She asks, still looking at me questionably.

But again, not a word leaves his mouth. I look at him, beginning to get frustrated by his lack of response to her. It's me, your girlfriend, is that so hard to say?

"What are you doing here?"

Both of us girls look at him in surprise. He finally spoke, but to my dismay, he is still ignoring me.

How is it that this boy, someone whose arms wrap around me unconsciously, as if it's as natural as breathing, someone who seems to melt from one touch of my lips on his, someone who doesn't even dare move when I'm asleep on him, despite him wanting to mingle with others, someone who undoubtedly cares—or cared—so much about me that whenever I look in his eyes, I have to hold my breath for a moment. How is it that someone like this has become numb to my words, to my touch, within an instant?

I can feel my eyes burn, the pain trickling into my tear ducts as I continue to look at his unresponsive face. The girl looks to me again, clearly confused about me being there while he ignores me.

She begins to ask again, "Who is—"

But he cuts her off with a shaky voice. "Why are you here?"

He doesn't give her a chance to respond before he turns and disappears amongst the crowd. My heart jumps up in sheer panic and I immediately follow him. I know she's following me too, but all my attention is on this boy—a boy that I seem to be desperately trying to chase to no avail. He ends up in a quiet part of a hallway, leading to the bathrooms. His head is hung down, hands covering his face. I cautiously come up to him and try to pry his hands away.

Please respond to me, please. I know she brings back bad memories, but you can move past it, I know you can.

He does respond. But not in the way I wanted him to.

"Sohee, stop." He yanks his arms out of my hands, his voice sounding cold to my ears. I look at him in shock, very much aware of the girl who is watching this happen.

For a split second, I catch pity in the girl's eyes before she looks back at him, and it's this expression that causes me to break. The fact that someone I don't know is looking at me pitifully as if I'm caught in a one-sided love, makes me lose all control. The tears burst out, but my face is one of fiery anger. I cut through the invisible line that seems to be connecting him and Yerin together. He looks up to watch me leave and tries to grab my arm, but I yank it away. He calls out my name as I push my way through the sea of happy people.

But it's too late. Just like him, my emotions have blinded me completely.

I feel my heart tear a bit now; a slow rip as it forces itself apart on both sides, not completely, but enough for me to be blinded by the betrayal I am feeling.

He was someone who always made me feel safe, wanted, loved, and I didn't know what to do with myself after witnessing a moment of being invisible to him. Does he still have feelings for her? Did seeing her in person bring them back?

Maybe it's irrational, maybe I'm being too dramatic, but it's enough to make my already weak heart feel utterly broken.

. . .

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Love,

Sooaura