Furthest Thing

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'Somewhere between psychotic and iconic.
Somewhere between I want it and I got it.
Somewhere between I'm sober and I'm lifted.
Somewhere between a mistress and commitment'

2 Months Later

"Man you need to stop moping around!" Kil exclaims shaking his head.

"This my nigga first heart break. Let her grieve" Tee spoke in my defense.

It's been two months since I last spoke to zara. A whole 8 weeks, 60 days, 1460 hours, and 87600 minutes.

I thought about her every second of everyday even when I didn't want to, it's like she seized my brain. I had everything I had ever wanted since I was 16, millions in my bank account and in my safe. Jawns all on my tip and I got mad love in every borough of New york, everything seemed so perfect, niggas envied my lifestyle and would kill to claim my spot. Yet I still felt lost, half the time I'm not even sure if I'm here. I felt like I was in the sunken place, my body was on auto pilot while I just floated watching everything happen infront of me without being able to intervene.

I set myself up for failure though once I started getting attached to her, I knew I should of distanced myself but it was far too late cause I was already in too deep. And I couldn't put my pride aside and just pick up the phone and call her.

"Look, she zoning out again" Kil shook his head pulling me from my thoughts.

"Suck my dick yo, and pass the fucking bottle" I mug him snatching the patron bottle out his hand as he walks pass me.

"Fucking alcoholic" He mumbles sitting down on the sofa.

"Ya momma" I retort sipping from the bottle.

"You took it too far" Ash spoke shaking her head, I shrug. I personally didn't care for our mom like that, she mentally and emotionally fucked me up and I don't know if I would ever forgive her. Kil on the other hand was mad emotional when it came to moms, he was a mommas boy and was way more attached to her than me.

"Who need to stop moping around now nigga" I spat throwing more of the liquor back.

"You acting like a dickhead right now over a bitch" He chuckles but I knew I had gotten under his skin.

"And you in ya feelings right now, over a bitch" He jumps up and I jump up too but ash and cole push us apart.

"Word!? It's like that!" He yells slapping cole hands down.

"Man fuck this I'm out" I take another gulp from the bottle as I walk out the apartment.

Jogging down the flight of stairs I  walk out the building going over to my car, getting in I start it up.  Finishing what was last of the bottle I  sped off.

At this point I was feeling like fuck everybody, I ain't need nobody but myself. 

Bright lights and a loud horn caused me to look over.

"Oh shit!"



























My eyes flutter open hearing constant beeping and the tv. I tried getting up but failed due to all the wires I had hooked in my body.

Looking down I noticed I was in a hospital gown.

"You finally woke up" My bones froze as chills ran down my spine hearing the voice that I'd been dying to hear for the past 2 months.

"That car hit me didn't it" I said finally mustering up the courage to say something.

"Yea, you got lucky though only a few cuts and scratches, nothing major" She spoke and it was like heaven to my ears.

"I don't feel lucky" I mumble and the room fell silent.

The doctor walks in a couple minutes later with a clipboard in his hand.

"I see you're finally awake" He smiles and I nod.

"Can I leave? It don't seem like anything major is wrong with me"

"Eager one. I'll prescribe you some pain pills because you have bruising to your ribs but other than that yes you may leave, I'll go get the prescription right now" He smiles warmly walking out the room.

I start pulling all the needles out my arms and the wires off my chest. Sliding out the bed I ignore the pain in my side seeing a fresh pair of clothes for me sitting on the chair. Untying the gown from my body I could feel zara burning holes in my back as I got dressed in the black polo sweats, a white tee, and my gucci slides.

"You really are eager to go" The doctor chuckles walking back in the room.

"This the prescription" I point to the white paper he had in his hand and he nods.

"Thanks doc" I smile taking it out his hands before walking past him out the room.

Walking in the lobby I saw kil, ash, cole, and tee slumped in the lobby chairs.

"Wake up niggas" I said in a sing songy voice slapping everybody's face. 

Nobody woke up and tee just stirred in his sleep slapping my hands. Looking around I notice a nurse heading our way with a squeeze bottle in her hand.

"Ma'am can I see your bottle for a sec?" I ask just as she came a few feet within me.

"Sure" She smiles warmly handing me the bottle. I smile back before turning around squirting the water in their faces.

"Thank you ma'am" I smile handing the bottle back as strings of curse words were spat at me. 

"You dead could of stayed in that hospital bed my nigga, fucking dickhead" Ash spoke rubbing her eyes.

"So wassup with you and shorty did y'all make up?" Tee asks stretching.

"Y'all shouldn't have called her. How the fuck y'all get her number anyway" I ask mugging them suspiciously.

"Chill, ash hacked in ya phone got her number and called her"

"She was so devastated b, on the phone crying her heart out. You need to fix that bro, shorty dead love you b" Cole adds.

"I don't wanna hear none of that, I need about 15 blunts and some henny. What's meant to be will find it's way back, if not fuck it" I shrug. I was over all this shit I just wanted to get smizzed and call it a day.

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