Silver Death

Protective Siblings

(Winter's P.O.V.)

She lied to me, not because she wanted too, but to keep me from feeling hurt and mad. Hurt that I almost had a kid, and mad because the pregnancy didn't work out because of them and their stupid mission. And now I am afraid that Silver is scared that I won't treat her the same. She should know that I will. I made her tell me in front of the team, even though she didn't want to. I should have let her lead me somewhere else, like the file room, or computer room. Somewhere other than in front of the team, in front of Steve.

The look on his face when she started yelling at Clint for allowing her to book a flight for a pregnant woman. A woman that is just barley started the pregnancy. A woman that Silver is trying to befriend.

When she said that she had a miscarriage and that she would understand that I wouldn't remember I assumed she meant the one with the agent. But when I looked closer, or really just looked at Jess not Silver Death I could see the pain in her eyes plus with the way she was holding herself. She was curling her shoulders forward and hunching her back, trying to fold into herself. She hadn't said that we had actually done 'it' when the topic came up with the H-RR conversation.

She had lied to the team and to me, but I could understand why. I wasn't mad  
anymore, but I was sad. Sad that she thought she had to keep this information from me, to keep me happy. But she knew, and it hurt her. Both emotionally and physically I'm sure.

While thinking of Silver I realize that once again I haven't seen her in a few hours. Sam had just gone to the file room to look for something. Probably to find out what else Silv has on him.

Wait. If she has a file on all of us would she have a file one Fury? I'll ask next time I see her.
No, I'm going to find her, make sure she's okay.

Leaving my seat in the living room where most of us are, I go to the shed where I assume Silver will be. Sliding down the ladder like she does, because climbing down is stupid and slow-her words not mine- I make it to be main area and check the four obvious side rooms. She's not in any of them. Next I check the gym and File room. Sam is in the file room and informs me of their short conversation.

"She thinks her personality came from you. And her protective instinct."
"And you don't?"
"She was supposed to be a mother. Her protectiveness I assume would come from that. Her personality, harder to say."
"But what do you think?"
"My guess is that it came partly from you, partly from her training, partly from being an assassin, and partly from the time she spent alone here."
"Why?"
"Well the hiding emotions probably from being a solider and assassin. But there is the chance that she is hiding them because she is scared of what everyone might think of her if she didn't hide them.
"Spending to much time alone while blaming yourself for something can damage someone. She blames herself for leaving you, so she's going to make sure your safe-once again protecting someone- even if it means getting severely injured herself."

Not sure what to say I nod. "Where is she?"
"Not sure, but she looked pretty tired when I saw her last. Maybe her nest?"

Nodding my thanks I go back up the small ladder that leads into the gym, and work my way to the nest. While on my way there I can see her feet hanging over the edge of it, but she is mostly hidden behind the joist. Hopefully she's alright, I pick up my speed and almost fall from the support beams. The beams are 40 feet up and only one foot across. Not a lot of space for people to walk on.

Taking the last step onto the platform I see Silver laying so she is at an odd angle, probably dreaming. Sitting up against the joist I reach over to her and wrap my metal arm around her waist and slid my other arm under her back with my hand cupping her head. Effectively pulling her onto my lap just like we used to do. Since I would have nightmares while there she would move the pillow on our bed and sit in it's place. My head would be in her lap, and she would play with my hair. Even if I was asleep it was calming, and it was helpful during over night missions or the first night out of my Cryo chamber.

Stroking her hair with my left arm while rocking her back and forth she she pulls away with her eyes partially open.  Seeing who it was she rumbs her eyes and leans back against my chest and whispers "what time is it?" It was about four when I left the house and I was talking with Sam for a few minutes so "probably about four-fifteen. How you doing?"
"I'm comfy."
"That's good, but that wasn't my question."
"I'm fine Jamesy."
"Really Jess, I know when you lie," feeling her eyebrow raise against my neck "fine. I normally know. And this is one of those times."
"Your getting rusty old man."
Laughing at the nickname "Oh thanks. Your getting rusty too."
"Yah I know. But hey, I kept my lie longer than I was expecting too."
"What do you mean by that?"
"Oh yah know, I was expecting to tell you sooner but I kept procrastinating. Didn't want to, but you were to be a father. You would have wanted to know."
"Thank you for telling me though."
"No problem. Though you coulda went somewhere else to talk. I don't like having Falcon assess me like he has been doing, it feels weird."
"True. But he's going to stop his assessment soon probably."
"Okay."

Thinking about why I came to find her I decide to find out what her nightmare was first.

"So, what were you dreaming about?"
"It was a memory actually. Same one as always," knowing what memory she's talking about "any variations?"
"Just who shot her. Instead of me being dragged away from her she was being held by the arms and I was handed the gun, I shot my mother like I did to my father and went with the agents willingly. Rather odd."
"You know that's not what happened. So you shouldn't have to worry about it."
"Yah I know. It's just kinda annoying that the one of like three memories that I have before HYDRA is being dragged away from my mother after she was shot."
"I can believe that."
"How you doing though?"
"I'm doing good. I have my best friend back, even though I almost killed him. And I have my sister."
With a yawn she says "Plus you have two homes now."

Moving my head so I can look at her face, her eyes are shut, her forehead is in the crook of my neck the side of her face is pressed against my caller bone.
"What do you mean by that?"
"You have a home with Steve. And one with me, but only if you want it."
"I'll take you up on that offer."
"Yay."
Her head starts to feel heavier and I start to stoke her hair again. Whispering to her "I won't let you get hurt again. I don't want you to get hurt, by anyone."

Sitting there until she wakes up could take awhile so I lay my chin on her head and sleep.

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