Step-Brother • e.d

FOUR

MACY

"This can be our dirty little secret baby," He winks at me "No one has to know about this," He goes on. It feels too good to be doing something so wrong but even this is out of character for me.

This could be my new distraction when smoking is too much of a hassle to do all the time I am feeling too much.

"I'm sorry I can't do this," I apologized to him

He just scoffed,"You know you want to," He whispered close to my ear just feeling his hot breath against my skin made me squirm.

This is wrong. "I don't see you like that Ethan," I rolled my eyes but fuck I just want to kiss him again. It helps with the ongoing thoughts going away, to have some peace.

"Your loss baby," And he walks out my room and goes to his

After he leaves I get my weed from my hiding place, my backpack and go out for a smoke. I hide it in my jacket and make my way out. "Where are you going?" My mom stands right in front of me.

"Out," Is all I said

she kept asking questions,"Where?" She said a bit hard

"To the park," I spat and walked right past her. I close the door behind me and walk towards the park and then I hear the door open and close shut. I looked behind me and there was Ethan.

"Are you following me now?" I accused him and he laughed at my accusation.

"No, I'm going to a girls house just going to have fun," He replied "Enjoy the clouds," He teased and walked to his left and I took a right

***

After walking, I sit under a tree and take it out. I light up the joint, not taking my sweet time smoking it either.

I realize I'm almost done so I roll up another joint. I place it between my fingers and inhale and exhale the smoke. I take longer hits of it and the more smoke comes out. I take one last hit and release the smoke out of my nose.

I lay down on the grass and my skin started to get goose bumps but also felt itchy from laying on the grass. I start to laugh and feel so hungry. But I try my best to ignore the hunger and still lay there on the grass.

I look at a group of kids playing on the playground and they all look like they're having the best time of their lives. How I wish I could go back in time to enjoy the little time I had as a kid. I wish I could tell her that life would steal it away from her and the little happiness she believed she had.

The sky starts to turn even darker by the minute and that's my time to head back home. I get up and take febreeze out of my backpack and spray it on myself.

A trick I learned.

***

I open the door slowly making sure no one is around. Once I see no one is there I head straight to the kitchen and get some snacks and take them to my room. But I'm stopped by Ethan. "Wow you sure smell like weed," He grimaced

"Move," I snapped

And he moves out of my way and I get into my room and close the door behind me and lock it. I throw my backpack somewhere in my room and take off my shirt and pants.

I feel so free when I am only in a bra and underwear. But even feeling this free it is so little to what I wish I was feeling right now. The void always finds its way back to me making sure I never forget the feeling of it. The constant fear of losing the small peace I have every so fucking often.

I sit up on my bed and start to eat my bag of chips. "God I feel so hungry," I groan as I take a bite of the chips

I jump up when I hear knocking on my door and I ignore it. I need Ethan to leave me alone. "Macy?" My mom bugs me

I groan "What?" I yell

"Open up this door," She yells mad and I can't be caught high

So I said,"I'm going to shower," I lied looking around my room with my backpack on the floor and probably the smell of weed filling up the room. I only have time to hide the backpack.

"I'm coming in right now," She said

I race to the bathroom and slip myself in the shower. But I then realized Ethan was in here, naked. My mom knocks the door and before I can say anything Ethan places his hand over my mouth.

The knocking stops and I'm in the shower soaking wet in just a bra and underwear. He pins me against the wall, putting my hands up high and kissing me all over my wet body.

His hands began to explore my body and started to slowly touch me. He smirked against our kiss. He moves my underwear to the side slowly teasing me by rubbing my clit like he had all the time in the world.

"Can you be quiet?" He said in between rubs and I couldn't even say a thing. It felt difficult to form a thought or sentence when my body was feeling so fucking good. I feel him insert one finger inside of me and it is like I had never been touched by someone before.

"Can you be quiet?" He asked once more but with a strong and persistent tone

"y-es," I moaned to him and his fingers were still inside of me.

"I didn't hear you!" He said but we both know he did. "Yes," I said and he smiled at me and began to kiss me again.

He takes out his fingers and just starts to gently rub my clit. "oh-my God et--han," I try not to moan. He stops and licks his fingers.

Left on edge.

He winks at me and turns off the running water and he gets his towel but before he leaves he kisses me again and gives my boob a gentle squeeze.

We both leave the bathroom like nothing happened between us.

"We need to talk," my mom bursted out loud and I jumped up. Fuck

"Macy? Are you insane why did you shower like that? You eyes? Your room smells awful!" She said so confused and then caught on

"Are you doing drugs?" She said

I laughed "Me? Do drugs?" I said I was offended. I need her to buy it

. "Come over here!" But I didn't and she is the one to come towards me. "You're smoking!" She shrieks

"I'm not!" I barked. She started going crazy and started to look over my room but I hid my weed well and plus I ran out and needed to buy more.

"You won't find anything now, leave!" I yell at her and then she pulls out the picture of Dylan and I smoking together with the date "March 18th,2017"

"This was a month ago!" She yells at my face and I go after her to get my picture. "This doesn't belong to you! Now give it!" I yell at her back I tried to snatch it away but I keep failing at this point

She is holding onto my only happy moment and she will ruin it. It is what she does, ruins every single fucking thing I love.

"I'm disappointed in you!" She said

I responded,"You always have been and if I smoke so what? I smoke, you fuck the shit out of Daniel! Don't you think we can hear it all?" I add on

"Oh Daniel!" I faked a moan and that's when her hand came in contact with my cheek.

A slap.

It didn't even hurt or nor did I cry. "This is why I want to live with dad," I laugh at her and she stands there looking all broken.

"Macy please forgive me I'm so sorry I didn't mean to," she said so quickly but I scoffed

They always say sorry, dad did it to me too. It is why she feels so defeated right now because she is becoming like him in the smallest ways. We were supposed to leave that past behind but she brought some of it with her.

"Just leave," And she does as she's weeping but that doesn't mean shit to me when she laid her hands on me like he did.

I hate both of them so much. I only wanted to feel at home somewhere and alive not suffocated by life and it's fucked up memories haunting me everywhere I go. I smoke to forget but it seems to follow me there too. I can never catch a fucking break.