Question 30: Making readers cry

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KiraSykes2011 asks: I read a book and started to cry because of that. How can I write stories people will love but also make sad? Like, my stories should touch them so much that they get emotional and maybe also start to cry.

Another way to ask this could be, "How do we make readers care?" Before a reader will bother crying over a story, they first have to care what happens. So how do we make readers care?

Step 1: Create a character that is relatable or enjoyable. (I have a chapter called "Create Relatable Characters" if you'd like a refresher.) As a reader, I want to either empathize or identify with the main character in some way. Maybe I like the kind way she treats people, or maybe I can feel the pain she's going through, or maybe she's just a sassy, independent person that I admire. Once I like this character, I will care what happens to her.

Step 2: Create something that will be devastating if the character lost it. It could be a little brother. It could be the pen that a mentor gave before dying. It could be a family home. Whatever it is, it has to be important to the plot, or to the character's personal development.

Step 3: Build up the importance of this valued object or person. If it's a little brother, then show the reader how wonderful he is through fun interactions or heartwarming dialogue. Though losing any family member is tragic, I'm not likely to cry over it unless the loss felt much deeper than others. She didn't just lose a little brother, she lost her best friend, and the light in her otherwise dismal life.

If it's an object, like the aforementioned mentor's pen, then have the character touch it all the time, or stare at it during flashbacks. Make the object feel like a vital part of the character's being. It's not just a pen, it's about what the pen represents. If it gets lost or stolen, she'll feel lost without it, because she placed a huge amount of emotional value on this one small object. But first, that emotional value needs to be demonstrated to the reader.

Step 4: Take away the valued object or person. Imagine Step 3 as setting up a Jenga game. (Jenga is a game where a pile of wooden blocks are stacked up, and then each player takes turns removing blocks until it become too unstable to stand.) Step 4 is when a vital block is removed, and the whole stack become wobbly, threatening to fall. The reader needs to feel this, which can be achieved through the character's reaction to the loss.

Each person reacts a bit differently to loss, but we all more or less follow a grieving process. Search the web for "grieving process" and you'll find articles about the five steps that people usually follow when in grief. Other articles say there are seven steps.  Read them all. Whichever one feels right to you, go with that. Psychology is all theories anyway, and these articles are serving as your guidelines, not a research paper. So don't worry about what's correct or incorrect.

Step 5: Don't turn it into melodrama. You want to make the loss dramatic, but don't overdo it. Make sure the reaction is in line with the character's personality. A stoic, level-headed person is not going to clutch her chest and wail WHY??? to the heavens.

Step 6: Switch up the reactions. Crying is good, but crying every ten seconds gets tiresome. I once read a story where the author was trying so hard to convey sadness that the character was literally crying every other page. After a short while, I just got numb to it, and rolled my eyes every time the tears started falling again. There are many ways to express grief than crying. They may stop eating, stop talking to friends, or start smoking. Talk about the heaviness they feel inside, or the emptiness. Have the character momentarily forget that the valued person or thing is gone, and when confronted with its loss again, they can break down further.

Step 7: Try adding comedy. Some very popular books have successfully managed to mix comedy with sorrow. The reason this works is because the human brain is designed to adapt to things. I got numb to all the constant crying of that one story I told you about. Sorrow after more sorrow, even when expressions are switched up, gets boring too. Mixing in comedy has the effect of tugging your emotions back and forth. It makes the contrast of the sadness all the more poignant.

A reader recently asked for a dialogue example of mixing comedy in with sorrow. I answered in the comments, but decided to put it here to share since examples help readers grasp how something works. Here's the example I wrote:

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Dave looked at me with concern. "I heard about your dad."

I had trouble meeting his eyes. "Yeah. He died last night at the hospital."

"That really sucks. How are you feeling?"

I exhaled a shaky breath. "Horrible. Like my heart is being flattened."

"Like, by an angry elephant chasing someone who stole his grilled cheese?"

I gave him a peculiar look. "Grilled cheese?"

"Well, sure. Elephants are vegetarian."

"You're a dork." But a smile tugged at my lips all the same.

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Pulling on heartstrings is an artform. Try reading some well-known tear-jerkers to learn how successful authors have done it. Some examples: The Book Thief, The Fault in Our Stars, Hyperbole and a Half, The Lovely Bones, Me Before You, The Art of Racing in the Rain, The Secret Life of Bees.

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