Pent up

Mistakes

My whole body heats up in a blush worthy of awards at the comment. The reddest red to ever red, the trophy will say.

Gosh

"Stop talking about my nipples" Self-consciously, I turn around and hide my upper body by hunching. He laughs again.

I reach for some underwear, too shy to go exposing myself I almost fall over as I try to put it while still holding onto the towel. My arms are shaky, and one of my feet gets stuck as I pull them up, but I regain balance and manage to slip them on.

"So graceful" I hear Cris chuckle.

"Fuck you" I huff and discard of the towel, throwing it on my bed, a bad habit I'm yet to break.

It leaves my covers wet yet I still do it, I think yo myself.

"Maybe one day" I hear his footsteps get closer.

Oh god, is that an invitation? Oh god, stop...

"What's with the sudden shyness? I'm sure we are way past that. I mean, first time I saw you..."

"Don't..." I close my eyes as I feel his breath ghosting over my ear.

"You had this massive erection" He laughs to himself, like reminiscing a good memory "And you basically started masturbating right in front of me. Not to mention, then you opened your legs and let me fuck you" His voice was smooth and velvety, enticing.

"I hadn't masturbated for a month. I was desperate" I whine. I have no idea why I tell him this information, but I do.

"Hmm... And how long has it been now?" I feel a hand ghost my hip, nearly touching me.

"A few days I guess" I think I have an idea of why I'm telling him these things, my subconscious is just screaming for me to arch my back into him, let go... I just masturbated with memories of him, my resolution is weak, about to break when he is so close and real.

"Why?" Still, I try to sound casual, like I didn't know what we were doing...

"No reason" He takes the smallest step forward, pushing forwards into me, embracing me with his arms. It's a loose hold, tentative, even when it doesn't march his voice. "And what about that time, when we met again on the first day of uni?"

"I... don't know" I felt myself relax back into him, craving more contact.

What am I doing? Stop

"You sank right to your knees" He holds me closer, and speaks with a voice like he really didn't expect me to be so easy, yet still pleased.

"I was surprised to see you" My mouth works against me, and I flush once again.

"More like excited" He comes so close to kissing my neck, purring into my ear the words "Damn right you were"

My breathing becomes rapid, all my senses tingling

"But... I- I have a girlfriend now" That's the weakest excuse I've ever heard, specially if you saw our position, but it's the only thing stopping me right now from turning around and just...

"You also had a girlfriend at that time.. that didn't stop you then"

Oh fuck

"I... I was shocked" I gulp "When I saw you I was just filled with... emotions"

"Diego told me you weren't single. Can you imagine my surprise? I didn't come over for four months after that but..."

My heart aches at the tone of his voice. He sounds a little tired, broken. Everytime I remember all the stupid stuff I've done this past moths ever since I met him... I just want to punch myself in the face. And hearing him so saddened...

"But I was still hung up on you" He says in a small voice. My face contorts, brows furrowed "So I came back"

Don't do this...

I should have picked you.

No, stop.

"I'm sorry" I whisper. God, I'm truly a horrible person...

And still I am leading him on again.

"It's okay" He lets go of me, and I turn to look him in the eye, my gut clenching painfully. He opens his mouth, but Diego walks out of his shower, droplets falling on the ground as his curly hair is still soaking wet, and Cristopher snaps his jaw shut, a little regret in his eyes, quickly turning around and ducking into the bathroom.

"Something happen?" Diego stares back and forth between me and the closed door, confused.

"I.. I'm going down to study" I put on some random jeans that are thrown over the floor, too busy thinking to look for actual clean ones, grab my bag and make my escape, throwing the door open and slipping out, leaving it open behind me.

"Okay?" Diego is left standing there, confounded about the whole situation.