Positive?!

[82]

Mark:

I slowly walked into my bedroom holding Lily on my arm and my bag in my free hand. The black bag fell on the floor as soon as I made some steps into the room. I was finally back at home.

Everything looked like I had left it during the night when I had gotten into labor. My bed was still a mess, some clothes were still laying on the floor and my armchair was still full of plush toys.

The only difference was the window which had been closed. I had left it open back then. The contractions had surprised me so much and I had only wanted to go to the hospital which had made me forget the window.

I had spent four days in the hospital before they allowed me and my daughter to go home. I was so happy that she was healthy and that the doctor had told me that she was doing great.

All my friends had visited me at least once. Like Youngjae, Jaebum and of course, Namjoon and Seokjin. The latter was completely in love with my little girl and treated her like his own child.

Jinyoung had been there everyday after school to check how I and the baby were. Just like Jackson who seemed to be a surprisingly confident father although he had had a lot of fears before.

Of course, it was possible that this confidence was just a facade. But I didn't want to think about such things at the moment. I only wanted to enjoy my time with my beautiful girl and that was all that mattered now.

"Look, this is your room. Well, actually it's our room." I walked around in the room to show her everything although I knew that she wouldn't remember the things I was saying at the moment.

It was completely silent in the house and I had to admit that it made me feel a bit uncomfortable. Jackson was still in school and his parents were at work. I would most likely be alone nearly everyday.

A part of me was a bit worried that the new situation would overwhelm me or Jackson. We needed a clear structure and a settled daily routine to make sure that everything would work.

I would most likely take care of Lily when she woke up during the nights. Jackson needed to sleep because of school. And maybe he would agree to watch her for some hours in the afternoon so I could take a nap.

Of course, I would make sure that Jackson only took care of the things he wanted to. I knew that it was very possible that he could back off if it was too much for him. I didn't want to take any risk.

I carefully laid Lily on the bed and sat down next to her. She looked up to me and I gave her my index finger to hold it. It had turned out that she liked it a lot to hold anyone's fingers and didn't let go of them.

"You can't imagine how happy you make me." I whispered and placed a kiss on her cute chubby cheek. Who could have known that having a baby was so wonderful and made me so happy?

A smile grew on my lips when I felt her small hand lightly squeezing my finger. I was still worried sometimes but seeing my beautiful little baby laying in front of me made me forget about all of them.

Knock knock. I looked up to the door wondering who it could be. I hadn't noticed that someone had come home. Sophia opened the door and came into my room. "Hello Mark. May I come in?" She asked me.

I nodded in response. "Of course. Please come in." I answered and watched her coming in my room. Jackson's mother walked over and sat down on the chair in front of my desk.

"How are you two?" She looked over to the baby on my bed. I stroked over my daughter's head. "We're good. She's doing great and so am I. Thank you for asking." I smiled a bit and kissed Lily's hand.

"I'm glad to hear that. And how do you feel? You've just become a father and I know how exciting it is to have your first child." She said and I could only agree to that. It was absolutely exciting.

"I'm very happy but I know that having a child is a huge responsibility. At the moment, the excitement is definitely bigger than my nervousness. I only want to enjoy that she's here." I smiled.

Sophia returned that and looked at Lily. "That's understandable. You've had hard months and now you're at the end of the way but the actual journey is just starting." She told me and I knew what she meant.

My pregnancy was over now. It had been a hard and exhausting time on some days but the real adventure of being a parent was only at the beginning and there were a lot of things in front of me.

"I know. That makes me a bit nervous." I admitted with a shy smile. Sophia came over to my bed and placed her hand on my arm. "You don't have to be nervous." She began to speak.

"She will grow during the next time and she might need more attention then but you're also making so many great memories." Sophia said and I got the feeling that she got a little emotional.

"She will learn how to crawl or how to walk and speak. It's absolutely beautiful to see you're child growing. It can be hard sometimes but you will see that it's worth it." She continued with sparkling eyes.

The way she said all those things took some nervousness of me. I actually couldn't wait to make all those experiences that showed me that I was a great father and that Lily was growing well.

"I'm sure you are right. The good times will definitely compensate the bad days. Thank you for telling me this." I said softly what caused the woman to stroke over my arm and smiled at me.

"No problem. I kinda knew that you could need some encouraging words when you're back home." She told me and I nodded in agreement. Sophia was absolutely right. I really needed some encouragement.

I was a bit afraid that I wouldn't be able to handle my baby without the help of the nurses. They had showed me how to feed her or change the diaper and they had been there when I had needed help.

The big question was if I was able to do all those things without someone who would be there if I had a question. Of course, I had Jackson's help but he wasn't that experienced with babies either.

I knew that there could be some bad days when I would ask myself why I was doing all this but I also knew that Sophia was right and that I would make new experiences and beautiful memories.

"You're right. I definitely needed to hear that." I agreed to what she had said. Sophia smiled and patted my arm. "You will see. Everything will be alright." She told me and looked down at Lily.

She was still laying on her back looking at me. My finger was still trapped in her grab but I was ok with that. It wasn't the first time she did that but for me it was still a beautiful moment I wanted to remember.

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Thank you for reading ♡