❝In which a celebrity dials a random number in hope of finding one last thing to make him smile before he commits suicide at the end of the month.❞
"I'm going to commit suicide in one months time."
"I think you have the wrong number."
"It can't be t...
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From: scaliente@gmail.com
To: clquinn@virginmedia.com
Super-girl,
It's beginning to become obvious that you're not going to reply to my calls any time soon. Whether there is a particular reason for that or not, I can't possibly guess. So many scenarios have been rolling around in my head for the past 24 hours. Some, I must admit, are a whole lot harder to consider.
Like, what if you have just completely given up on me? I know it kind of sounds completely self doubtful and awful but you wouldn't be the first.
Before you have a rant at me about self worth and all that trash just hear me out.
I'm a lot of work to be around.
I accepted that a long time ago.
The whole ordeal of my OCD just seems to freak people out. As soon as I told my family they didn't know what to do with me anymore. That doesn't mean to say that they didn't try, of course they did. They tried so hard to tell me that everything was going to be okay. Everything was going to be fine, that I just needed to stop thinking about it so much. The thing is, that's just the thing. I couldn't stop thinking about the routine. The consequences. That's just not how it works and they didn't get that.
In the end they just drifted away. I didn't really help in all honesty. I kind of made it worse. It's not like I could exactly help it. The OCD makes me think that it's safer for them to be away from me. So, I guess they kind of just disappeared from my schedule.
But that's just the thing. You're the only thing that I've been willing to fight that feeling for. You make me think that perhaps not all consequences are bad. So, if you're not contacting me because you've given up, that perhaps the OCD is too much for you to handle, then please reconsider.
There's a reason for everything.
I'm sure you've pretty much guessed that there's a reason I have OCD. These things don't just happen. Yes, my tiring schedule as a celebrity has something to do with it but there is something else. It's not something that's exactly easy to talk about (hence the fact that it was drastic enough to trigger OCD).
It works differently for different people but for me OCD is almost like a routine to help forget. It's kind of like the routine takes over so much of my life that I forget the bad stuff. The bad thing.
So, yeah, it would be kind of nice if you replied.
If not I'll tell you what happened anyway, it'll be kind of nice to let it out. Even to someone who might actually not be reading this because she wants nothing to do with me anymore.
See you around, maybe.
Shane.
PS: I'm kind of hoping that your phone is broken or something.
PPS: Please reply.
PPPS: It's Saturday so I know you're not at school. Knowing you I'm probably just working myself up about nothing and you're just not replying because you are very busy with being stuck in a good book. It's just weird not having a talk with you everyday. Seeing as it's the weekend I thought we should go out together again. Maybe, if you still want to talk to me.
PPPPS: Without you the only thing that will make me smile is The Big Bang Theory. So, you know, don't leave me to suffer. That would be cruel.
PPPPPS: It's a long shot but if you are considering leaving me then just take the time to consider how true my last name is.
PPPPPPS: No pressure or anything but you're kind of the only reason I'm still here.
