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Phil Lester

I'm not sure what I am doing, but when I slide my hands down Dan's chest and pull his bottom lip between my teeth, he groans and pushes his body closer to mine. My lips travel further—across his jaw and down his neck and I nip at the pale surface softly, feeling his pulse increase with the temperature in the room.

He is unbelievably pliant under my grip, his head tilting back on it's own accord, allowing me to decorate his soft skin with gentle bruises.  His fingers twist in my hair and his legs tighten around my waist and—

The shrill sound of his phone interrupts us, an unknown number flashing on the screen.

"What the fuck," I watch as he leans over and grabs the phone, his eyes reading over the number as if he's trying to figure out who it might be.

"Who is it?" I ask him, slightly annoyed that he actually acknowledged a phone call to interrupt whatever we were doing and he looks at me with his eyebrows furrowed.

"I don't know," He shrugs, and I watch as he contemplates whether to answer or not.

"Who would be calling you this late?" I attempt to hide the suspicion in my voice but of course it doesn't work, and Dan just bites his lip, before putting his phone on silent and leaning forward to press our lips together again.

His attempt of ending our conversation works for a minute and a half, but then the wheels in my mind start turning unnecessarily, and I press my mouth harder against Dan to avoid thinking about all the possibilities. I should trust him right? He wouldn't cheat on me, would he?

Why did he come back from the party all of a sudden? Did he really just miss me or he made out with someone and regretted it? Has he been sleeping around with more people?

I pull away from the kiss and run my fingers through my hair, looking away from Dan's confused expression.

"What's wrong?" He asks, and when I don't answer he cups my cheeks to make me look at him.

"Nothing," I push his hands away from my face, slightly pushing against his chest so he gets off me. "I need to use the bathroom," I excuse myself and force myself to ignore the embarrassment covering his cheeks.

I feel horrible for acting so cold with him but I need to calm myself down before I hurt him or myself. I don't want us to go back to fighting. Maybe I should just talk to him about it? We are adults after all, we should be able to communicate our feelings and problems. I repeat the logic over and over in my head as I wash my face and take out my contact lenses, grabbing my glasses and pushing them up the bridge of my nose.

When I walk out, Dan is pushing his feet into his shoes and I furrow my eyebrows at him, quickly taking a few steps to stand in front of him.

"Where are you going?" I ask him, and he ignores me, running his fingers through his semi straight hair and standing up. He tries to step around me but I block his way, trying to figure out what the hell is going on.

"Phil move out of the way," His tone is hostile, such a strange contrast to his soft and high pitched voice that he generally uses around me and my chest aches a little at the sound.

"What's happening, where are you going?"

"That's none of your business," He tries to step around me again but this time I just grip his arm to stop his movements.

"What the hell happened? I thought we are dating, I'm supposed to know where the hell you are going. And I thought you were staying the night?"

" You think a fucking lot then, I'm not dating anyone," He snaps, and so does my heart. "And I'm not staying the night either, just let me go, I am not interested in this bullshit," His voice is harsh and I loosen my grip on his arm and move out of the way. I don't know what happened to make him act like the way he is right now but I'm not putting up with this.

He is the one who is getting calls at one am that he refuses to answer and he is the one still attending parties when he knows how I feel about them. I have not given him a single reason to act like he is, except maybe walking out on him in the middle of making out.

But that isn't that big of a deal right? Instead of acting like this he should have asked me what's wrong and what has made me uncomfortable enough to run off into the bathroom. We could have talked it out, and he could have not acted like an asshole.

Is this entire relationship just about sleeping with each other?

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HEY ITS BEEN SO LONG IM SORRY BYE

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