Insane Doesn't Even Begin to Cover It...

Insane Doesn't Even Begin to Cover It... Chapter 48

 Chapter 48

During my session that day, I zone out once more. Caden is talking animatedly with Becca again, about God knows what. I honestly couldn’t really care for it right now, they’re probably just discussing some way to fix another phobia or something along those lines. 

Instead, I turn my mind towards Caden himself, keeping my eyes on his face. I don’t really care if he notices me staring or not, it shouldn’t be a big deal. I think about what all he has done for me… all the shit we’ve been through together in such a seemingly short amount of time. 

How he turned on me with Griffin, then how we went through that and fixed our friendship… how I used to feel about him, how he gives me butterflies still. My face is about to flush just thinking about it and I take a quick, silent breath, averting my eyes to the floor. 

When my face has resumed its normal temperature, I lift my eyes back up to Caden, only to find him watching me. He winks at me quickly, before shifting his eyes back to Becca. That one action sends the butterflies on a rampage, and I shift uncomfortably in my chair. For the rest of the session, I make a point to look anywhere except for Caden, and nearly sprint out of the room when we’re released. 

I don’t bother explaining why to Caden when he asks, and he just laughs. 

“I guess you weren’t paying attention in there were you, with all of your… staring.” He says knowingly as we go back up to my room to wait for the dinner bell. My face automatically flushes and I keep my eyes on the ground, watching my feet and the floor. Somehow he seems to take the hint and just chuckles, but stays quiet till we get back to my room. 

Once inside, he closes the door and takes a seat on his bed and I take a seat on mine. I’m still not looking at him, but I can feel his eyes on me a few times. Sighing, I lie back on the bed and stare at the ceiling, thinking of things to do to pass the time. 

Normally Caden and I might talk, or go walking down the hallways, or something along those lines… but now I just think it would probably be awkward. I’m not sure how long it is that we both sit there in our two different positions, but finally he breaks the silence. 

“So, Senna. About your treatment with Becca…” Internally I groan, and then throw an arm over my face; blocking out my view. I honestly don’t want to talk about any treatment right now. There’s been too much of that lately and it’s getting… annoying.  

What about it? 

I write down on my pad and show him, and he just smiles. 

“Well, you were doing so good. You can go outside now, I hope you know that. If you ever want to, all you have to do is ask. I know you only went out twice, but Becca and I do honestly believe that that basically remedied your phobia. Even so, a doctor will be out there with you to make sure. But yes, about your treatment. 

“We are planning on doing other things to fix your other phobias and you might not like some of them but, no pain no gain, right?” He doesn’t even slow down when I roll my eyes at that. “I just wanted to let you know that I am always here for you, because I do know that things are going to get hard for you…. really hard.” Pausing, he examines my face and then just stays silent. I guess that was the end of his little rant. 

… Thanks.

Caden smiles and then sighs. Surprisingly, he stands up and comes over to my bed, sitting down near me but not touching me. I watch him warily, eyes narrowed slightly. We both sit there like that, neither of us saying anything. Finally, I just turn away from him and curl up, staring at the wall. 

There’s about an hour or so until the dinner bell rings, so we have a bit of time to pass. 

“I… really like you.” I hear him mumble and my heart starts to hammer in my chest, and my breath gets quicker. Did… he really just say that? I think it over in my mind once more just to be sure, still staring carefully at the wall. “I… just thought you should know that.” He says again, a little louder. 

Completely still for a few moments, I force myself to calm down and then pull my notebook and pen out again and write down a few words, then flip them over to show him. 

I think I like you too…

I don’t try to look up and see what his reaction was, instead just folding the notebook back against my chest, and dropping the pen somewhere near me. My face is warm, and I know it’s probably some unflattering shade of red. 

‘Stupid hormones…’ I think to myself, mentally beating my head against a wall. 

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That night, at lunch, the two of us make an obvious effort to  pretend like that little scene in the room didn’t happen. I think I’m trying harder than he is, just coming up with random things to talk about so we don’t fall back into an awkward silence, which is what happened in the room after our confession session. 

He’s talking and laughing across from me, but I can feel him looking at me steadily whenever I look down to write something. I try to keep my reaction normal, and luckily, I succeed. 

The food tonight is better than normal, which just lifts my spirits a little bit more. I still can’t quite wrap my head around the fact that he actually admitted to liking me. Or that I admitted to liking him back, to be honest.

I never would have expected that from myself, not at all. To me, things like that just get you hurt in the end. But now I guess it can’t be helped. He likes me, and I like him. 

And for some reason, I just can’t see how that could be bad. 

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Hope you liked it

Sorry for the late update. 

I haven’t been having a good time lately. 

-Lexi