Redemption [h.s]

sixty-one

Grace

"Are you nervous?" I asked Harry glancing up at him.

He looked back at me for a few seconds, before his eyes shied away from mine, and he started playing with the hem of the white sleeve of his shirt once again.

"Don't worry about it" I said, "I know it's the first time at all since it happened, but I'm sure it won't be awkward, alright? Don't you worry about it." I put my hand over his left hand, stopping his fingers, that were nervously tapping on the inside of his right wrist.

"I just... don't know what Gemma told him, I guess" he replied after having stared at my hand, over his, for a few seconds.

"I'm sure she told him nothing you wouldn't have wanted him to know. She can be discreet from time to time."

"I'm just not sure I'm comfortable with what she actually told him. I know she told him that, she must've done that, since we're gonna hang out. I don't think I'm comfortable with him knowing."

"I'm sure that, even if he does know, he won't let it weigh down on who he thinks you are as a person. You're still you, aren't you? Regardless of what happened that night" I said, moving my finger up and down his wrist slowly and repeatedly. I glanced at the time on my phone, that was on the table right in front of me. It was early afternoon.

"I guess."

"And I need to ask you something" I added. He didn't say anything, but he looked at me, so I continued. "I kind of noticed you haven't been taking any kind of pills in the past days. I'm not trying to tell you what you should do of course, I'm just curious I guess. If you want to tell me, that is."

His eyes widened. "I, uh..." he looked down, searching for the right words to say, "I... it's not because I feel better, of course" he glanced up at me experimentally, to discover the effect of his words on me, "It's just... I've not been taking them for about a month now, so... I don't know, it didn't feel wise to start taking them again regularly without... I don't know, talking to someone about it I guess."

I stood up and went to lean against the table on his side. "You're right."

He nodded slightly, and resumed his nervous habit of playing with his rings on his lap.

"Hey" I whispered. He didn't look up, so I crouched right next to him, looking up at him to meet his gaze. "I'm being honest, don't worry about it. I'm sure everything will go just fine." I hugged him, and he sighed. "Relax, okay?" I whispered into his ear, and I felt his arms come up to wrap around my waist.

My phone buzzed, and I broke the hug to look at the text.

"Come on, time to go" I told him after reading it.

He stood up from the chair, and we walked to the front door.

We put on our coats and exited the house. "We're gonna take my car, okay? I'll drive" I told him while he locked the doors.

We walked down the stairs, reached the garage and got into my car.

"Seatbelt" I simply said to remind him to fasten it when I saw he had forgotten, while I was starting the car.

The car ride was silent, but not of an awkward silence. More like a heavy silence, full of things left unsaid, that were fighting to get out. That kind of feeling you get when all of sudden you feel like not everything has been uncovered, and you can't exactly explain why you're even feeling like that in the first place, but that feeling is still there, and just won't leave, but simply become stronger. It was a weird feeling, but I didn't mention it at all.

I parked the car and we got out, starting to walk towards Gemma's house in the freezing cold. We reached the door, and I rang the doorbell.

Michal opened the door. "Oh, hi. How are you? Come in" he said moving to the side, so that we could've walked in.

"I'm fine, and you?" I replied walking in, while Harry stayed silent. But Michal seemed to understand his silence, and didn't question him directly about it.

"I'm good-" he started to say, but then he looked at something behind Harry and I. "Hey, Gem. How did your latest cooking adventure go?"

I turned around and I saw that she was standing right in the doorway of the kitchen, a bit silenter than usual.

"I tried baking cookies, but I burnt them so I made cupcakes instead" she replied, "Want one?"

I took one of the cupcakes on the dish she was offering us and I bit down on it experimentally. Suddenly a terrible taste invaded my mouth, and I had to force down the urge of spitting it out.

"So?" She asked.

"It's..." I paused for a second, wondering how I could've told her that her cupcakes were terrible. "I might be mistaken, but... did you put salt in them? Like, a lot of salt?"

Her eyes widened as the realisation struck her. "Don't tell me..."

"You mistook salt for sugar?" Michal said, starting to laugh.

"Just shut up" she replied, "I tried, that's all that matters. Now, if you'll excuse us, Grace and I have loads of things to talk about. You boys stay here and I don't know, be your wonderful selves or something like that" she added before pulling me towards the kitchen before I could even say a word.

"What's so important?" I asked her after she shut the door and leaned against it.

"Do you want to be one of my bridesmaids?" She asked out of nowhere.

"Wait, what?" I asked, completely taken aback by the request. "I mean, we haven't known each other for long."

"I know that, but I also know that Harry trusts you completely. I know it seems impossible to believe considering how closed off he is, but he does. I see it in his eyes. And he's a really difficult person, so I know you must be special. We may not know each other that much now, but I know we're gonna become good friends. Besides, you're my brother's girlfriend. So, I do want you to be one of my bridesmaids. Do you?"

I didn't know what to say at that, so I just nodded.

"Perfect, we're settled then. When are you free? I need to book an appointment for the dress" Gemma said, content with the situation.

"Already?" I asked.

"I'm very picky, so I know it'll take some time to find the perfect one" she replied. "So, now that that's out of the way, how's it going?"

"It's hard to tell. I need to find another job, because I don't think I can go back working there after everything that happened. But I also can't leave Harry alone at home, and can't take him with me, because I don't want him to feel guilty. And also, Harry's not taking his pills anymore, and it worries me because it's like, never really happened before, and I don't know how bad it can get or how to handle the situation" I whispered to make sure they would've not heard me from the other room. Realising that I was ranting, I shut up and blushed. "That's it."

"Regarding the job thing, you can tell me and I'll just keep him company instead, so don't worry about it. And, about how it is when he doesn't take pills... well, just be there for him. He'll have his ups and downs, just make sure that he's never alone. Emotionally, I mean" she replied, whispering as well.

"Alright, thank you."

"I should be the one thanking you. But now, let's get the boys. I'm quite sure they're just sitting awkwardly on the couch."