imagine having feelings for kili but dont know how to tell him

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Ok this is driving me mad I have feelings for kili... and I have no idea why. I admit it I like kili but I don't know if I can tell him I mean there are so many things that could go wrong. He could not like me back, I could do something really stupid, thorin will have my head, I might blurt it out without thinking or something worse than all those things could happen and I would want to bury myself in a hole and die there. I sigh and that catches the attention of Fili as he is walking by. Y/n is everything ok? He asks and I look around for kili because usually when you see one of the brothers the other one won't be too far behind. Is kili around? I ask and he shakes his head no he is at the archery range outside. I sigh in relief and drag the blonde prince to my room. Ok Fili im sorry to put you in this position but im possibly going to have a mental breakdown if i don't get this off my chest I say and he shrugs ok I've got nothing better to do. He sits on my bed and I start pacing up and down.

I like kili okay? I don't know why but I do and I can't tell him because I don't know how to and I don't know how he's going to react. He doesn't need to know right? I could just keep it to myself and it will save me the trouble of going through this. I don't know what to do Fili I am a mess. Nervous doesn't even begin to explain how im feeling right now. I have never felt this way about anyone before so I can't tell him I would probably have a mental breakdown and cry right in front of him. Y/n calm down Fili says after my rant. This is completely normal for you to feel like this but you can't keep it to yourself he deserves to know y/n he says and I sigh and sit next to him on the bed I can't do it Fili what if i mess up? I say and he smiles if he likes you back which im sure he does he will be there for you. Alright but please help me I say and he nods of course.

Later

Fili helped me set everything up and he managed to calm my nerves-ish. He comes with me to where I am meeting kili. Y/n don't worry you will be fine just don't forget to breath he says and I sigh easier said than done. He smiles at me encouragingly come on he's waiting. I nod and follow him to a clearing in the forest where I am meeting kili. When we get there I see him sitting on a log next to a fire he must have made because im sure I would remember putting it there because it would have been a disaster if I did. He looks up at us when he notices that we are there. Hi y/n he says and I turn around to see that Fili is no longer behind me. Traitor I mumble before walking slowly over to kili and sit beside him on the log. So Fili said you had to tell me something is everything ok? He says and I nod yea im fine but it might take a while I say and he nods take your time im in no rush. I nod and look into the fire thinking of how I should start. A few minutes later I feel a shoulder nudge mine. I look to my left and see kili looking at me. Y/n you haven't said anything for ten minutes are you sure your ok? He asks again and I nod im fine I told you it might take a while for me to say something I say and he smiles right. I sigh as I feel the nerves coming back to me and I feel my hands shaking. Ok wow this is harder than I thaught I mumble aloud.

He turns to face me then let me do it. I raise an eyebrow wha... he smiles and interrupts me y/n I like you too. My eyes widen and I stand up from the log. What? How did you know?! I say and he chuckles as he stands up with me. It wasn't that hard to tell he says and I give him a look. Alright Fili told me its basically the same thing. I sigh ok well looks like you will be getting the throne after all I say and he chuckles now now don't be like that. I sigh wait I had to do all that for nothing? Ok that is just mean I nearly had a mental breakdown wait does that mean thorin knows too?! I say nearly shouting at the end of my mini rant.  He smiles and steps towards me. I mean if you already knew that I like you then it would be nice for you to have... I get interrupted by the sudden feeling of something on my lips and then I realise that kili is kissing me. I squeal and jump away in shock ending the kiss rather quickly. He chuckles at my reaction what? I pout and cross my arms that wasn't fair. He smiles at me and holds his hand out for me to take. Come on he says and I reluctantly take his hand and he gently pulls me closer to him and I'm still pouting at him. let me see your smile he says and when I don't he puts a finger under my chin and tickles me slightly making me laugh slightly. He smiles yay I found it... now let me kiss you he whines. I sigh then smile as he leans in closer to me and slowly his lips find mine again. I smile slightly breathing in his scent which is like a musky foresty smell. He pulls away and smirks you liked it. I chuckle at his comment. I would love to answer that but right now I have a blonde prince to kill I say and take off running with kili chasing after me.

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