Blackbird

No Place Big Enough For Holding

I sat upright at the sound of an alarm going off in Tara and I's newly furnished room. Making a sudden movement getting out of bed caused me to wince in pain. My inner thighs, arms, and neck felt sore, I pushed through it, to get Tara dressed. My mother is pimping me out to provide for us, it hurts to even  admit it in my head. I wish it weren't true, I wish that Tara could have the mother she deserves but all she has is me. When I finished getting myself together we made our way to the kitchen. Of course Teresa was there, cooking without a care in the world, as if she didn't condone of the rape of her daughter multiple times but this isn't anything new.

"Breakfast my lovelies I-" Teresa said cheerily, I looked at her with so much hatred in my eyes. You know that saying, 'if looks could kill', then she'd be a dead woman.

"Grab something to eat so we can go" I instructed Tara, she nodded and grabbed some pop tarts and bottle of apple juice.

"Look Rena-"

"Save it Teresa, let's go Tara" she took my hand and we walked out the door ignoring every advance from my mother. Every step I took throbbed, I wish she would have at least got some pain killers for the house, this walk was going to be horrible. By the time we made it to Tara's school I was in so much pain. I smiled and waved until I watched her go inside then I sat on the steps to take a break. A few seconds passed and suddenly a car horn honked and I looked up to see Evan.

"Hey are you okay, I saw you limping and I figured you could use the ride" he offered.

"I'm fine, thanks" I stood too quickly causing me to grimace, and I'm sure he noticed.

"Just get in we're going to the same place" he said,  groaning internally I weighed  the options in my head. If I don't take the ride I'll be late, so I might as well. I limped to the car and slowly took my time getting in careful not to make any more sudden movements. Evan watched with so much curiosity I knew questions were to come. Sure enough a few minutes passed and he broke the silence.

"Why are you limping, you get into a fight or something?" he asked. I stayed quiet, avoiding his concerned gaze. "Was it one the kids from school?" 

"No" I replied, he noticed my look of annoyance and he held his hand up  in surrender.

"I'll chill, it's none of my business anyway" he stated but I saw him look over at me once more but he didn't continue. I sighed in relief as the school came to view and we pulled into the parking lot.

"Thanks...for the ride" I blurted out and before he could say anything I limped away. When I made it inside I rushed to restroom and collapsed inside a stall. I sat on the floor waiting for the pain to stop. Millions of thoughts racked my brain; why can't I have a normal life, what did I do to deserve this, when will I ever catch a break?  I didn't realize I was crying until I felt the tears roll down my face. I wiped my tears off on the back of my sleeve and unlocked the stall door to get water from the sink.

"Whoa, is that little miss Blackbird" a voice said. I dried my face and it was Kathy, smirking at me and I braced myself for what was to come.

"What do you want?" I questioned.

"Feisty today are we Blackbird, but weren't you just in there crying" she laughed. I rolled my eyes, gathering my things hoping she'd take the hint and leave. Kathy into my path and crossed her arms not letting me by. I prayed to God that she wouldn't hit me, haven't I been beaten up enough?

"Move." I mumbled, she jumped at me causing me to flinch. Making her laugh very loudly, then she stepped to the side. I took that as my ticket to escape, and surprisingly she let me go.

"There's no place to hide from me Blackbird, I'll see you around" she called after me. I didn't even look back, my fast paced walk became a jog and I turned the corner and bumped into Evan.

"Hey, I was looking for you" he stated.

"Why" I snapped

"Calm down, I just wanted to check on you. Have you been crying?" he questioned

"Wh-what, no I have to get to class" I stammered and limped past him, I could still feel him staring at me as a walked away from him. I never thought there would be a day that I was glad I made it to class. At lunch I was sitting by myself at my usual table when I was interrupted by Evan with his lunch tray.

"Hey" he smiled

"Sup" I replied quietly

"You mind if I sit here?" he asked gesturing towards the empty seat in front of me. I shrugged, and he took it as an invitation anyway and sat down. "Why aren't you eating" he looked at my still full tray of school food.

"Not hungry" I stated.

"You should probably eat something you look sick" he commented, then he slapped his hand over his mouth.

"Thanks, that's a step up from the things I've been called before" I laughed humorlessly

"No I didn't mean it like that, I can tell by your face that you haven't eaten and that's not good, but I'm not saying you're not pretty, you're cute like a puppy. Not saying you remind me of a dog...and I'm gonna shut up now" he rambled. I laughed at his antics internally, causing me to smirk, I hope he didn't think I took offense. "I got a smile, I knew my awkwardness would pay off someday" he laughed. At the end of the day I met Evan at his car so we could work on the project.

"We getting your little sister today?" he asked.

"Everyday...we have to get her everyday" I said. He nodded and a few minutes later we arrived at the school to pick her up. When we pulled up her teacher, Ms. Maddock, was waiting on the curb with her as usual. I got out to open the door for Tara and as she got in her teacher pulled me aside.

"Rena, is everything okay at home?" she asked with a look of concern.

"Yes ma'am, everything is good why?"

"Tara told me some disturbing news today. She broke down in class crying and when I asked why she said that a bad man has been coming by at night and hurting you." she stated. My eyes started to well up and my legs got weak.

"I ha-have no idea what you're ta-talking about" I stuttered.

"Rena if something is happening you need to tell someone Tara is afraid but I think it's more for you than herself" she said.

"We have to go" I snatched my arm out of her grip, and sped walk back to the car. "Drive." I instructed and he did just that, I watched in the rear-view mirror as we left Ms. Maddock in the dust.

"What was all that about, the conversation looked pretty serious" Evan asked.

"Nothing important, don't worry about it" I mumbled.