Street Girl

20 | elliot

20

SUNLIGHT POURS through my blinds, but I don't want to wake up at all. How much did I smoke last night? I can't even remember, but as I open my eyes, a lingering high still weighs me down.

Birds chirp outside. There's a single moment of peace before Katie sweeps into my mind like an artillery squad, and my chest lurches. After all these years—twelve fucking years—she's finally getting rid of me. Since she started dating Luke, I always knew it was coming, but I didn't expect it to hurt this much. It's like my heart is being squeezed and pummelled and punched. When I reach for Lucy, I find my arms full of blankets instead.

"Lucy?" I prop myself up on my elbow. She doesn't answer, so I raise my voice. "Lucy!"

Oh no. No, no, no. She's gone, isn't she? I scared her off with my neurotic behavior. I repelled her like I do with everyone else. I—

Lucy's head pops up beside the bed.

"Jesus Christ," I say.

She rubs her eye. "What? Why are you yelling?"

"I thought you were gone."

"I have nowhere to go." She yawns and disappears, and I peek over the edge. She created a makeshift bed on the floor with a pillow and one of my childhood blankets. My navy hockey bear with the red and yellow scarf is tucked next to her.

"Why're you down there? Did I kick you off the bed or something?"

"No."

"Then why? It's totally warmer up here, just sayin'..."

Lucy's expression remains sour, and guilt hits me like a transport truck. I was so distant and weird last night. Does she hate me for it?

"What's wrong?" I ask.

Sighing, she tears off the covers and sits cross-legged. She's wearing only my blue shirt and a pair of white underwear, revealing her thin, smooth-looking legs. She's dangerously close to being naked.

"Do you like me, Elliot?"

"Well, yeah. Of course I like you."

"But you like Katie too, right?"

"Not the same way I like you." I'm quiet, before I realize what she means. "Whoa, wait, it's not like that with her, I swear. I used to like her, but not anymore."

"I won't be some rebound, Elliot. If you like her, tell me now so I can—"

"No, I like you."

"You said her name in your sleep."

Fuck. Please tell me she's joking. "I don't remember what I was dreaming about, Luce, but it must've been a nightmare."

"Sounded like an awfully blissful nightmare."

I don't know what to say, so I go with nothing.

"Maybe this is a bad idea," she says. "We don't even know each other. Maybe I should just leave."

"What? No..."

"Why not?"

"I really like you. I don't want you to go."

Lucy's glare deepens. This is bad. I can't lose her before we even start dating. Scatterbrained, I glance at my digital clock. 8:39 a.m.

"Shit." I bolt to my feet. "I've gotta work, Luce."

As soon as I'm off the bed, Lucy dives into it and drowns herself in blankets, transforming into an adorable lump. My heart inflates. I want to ditch work, but Katie will definitely be calling in sick. If I do it too, one of us is getting fired, and it sure as hell won't be her.

"Can we talk about this when I get back?" I ask.

"Yeah. Whatever."

Sighing, I search for my uniform. Of course I don't like Katie more than Lucy. Lucy actually makes me feel important, while Katie makes me feel forgettable, like the plastic from the straw of a juice box. It serves a small purpose, but once you're done with it, you tear it off, leave it somewhere, and forget all about it.

"Lucy, you'll be here when I get back, right?"

She pops her head out from under the blankets, her bangs all ruffled. Somehow, it makes her cuter. "Yeah, I'll be here."

"Do you promise?"

"I'm not going anywhere, El."

"Can you promise?"

She throws a pillow at me. I catch it before it can hit my face. "Yeah, I promise."

I don't know if I believe her, but I have no choice. I'm already late. Davis is gonna trip balls.

It's cold as hell outside, and sunlight glares off our basketball net and into my eyes. As much as I don't want it to, everything out here makes me think of Katie. Back when we were kids, she used to push me into snowbanks just like the one at the end of the driveway, and I'd wipe the floor with her in road hockey on this same street. But what I liked about Katie was that she'd always play again.

I shove my hands in the pockets of my jacket and kick the snow. The truth is I had a crush on Katie for most of our friendship, so when we hooked up, it was pretty much a dream come true. Until it wasn't. Until she wanted to pretend it never happened and go back to being "best friends." Until she started dating the one guy who seems to want me to fail.

When Lucy said good riddance, she was right, but the hurt's not going anywhere. I don't want to lose Katie, but maybe I already lost her a long time ago. I shouldn't focus on trying to mend something that's already splintered apart. With Lucy, I have a clean slate... unless I just fucked everything up.

Please tell me I can fix this.