I didn't know that screwing another girl would mess with Y/N's emotions. Why are girls so god damn emotional. I mean, thinking about it, I guess if she'd fucked another guy I would probably kill him. Maybe her too. I feel so lonely without her.. like there's this place in my head telling me that I let go of something that could make the world more real. Like she was real. Y/N was my reality and now I'm lost in a nightmare.
"Pass me a cig, would ya?" Henry says from the hood of the car and I toss them over to him. He grunts a thanks and watches me intently. "Why do you care so much about this bitch anyway?" He asks.
"Fuck you, Bowers," I say and grab my cigarettes from him, stalking off.
"Okay, okay, I'm sorry. I know you had a thing for her or whatever".
"Henry, I think I love her". Henry's eyes glare up at me and he tosses his cigarette on the ground.
"Bullshit".
"I'm serious. She makes me- fuck I don't know. I have this feeling in my chest right now. It's making me think about how she must feel right now. I hate it but there's no way to push it back". I place a cigarette between my lips, searching in my pants for a lighter.
"Then let it in, dumbass," Henry says obviously.
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"I can't risk hurting her like this again," I reply, breaking out of my brief trance.
"What makes you think you won't be able to control it?"
"You do realize that you're talking to a boy with a practically diagnosed mental illness that tells me I lack in self control, right? Besides, I doubt that you're one to pass out the 'I can tell who has control' cards," I reply.
"Fuck you," Henry says, a smile playing on his lips.
"All I'm saying is if I stay... nothing's gonna change. I can't be the person I know she deserves".
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