Almost, But Not Quite (COMPLETED)

Chapter 06

#ABNQ06 Chapter 06

Pagpasok ko pa lang sa classroom, masama na agad ang tingin sa akin ni Matt at Simon. Pagkatapos ko kasing makausap si Psalm, nagpasundo na agad ako sa driver. I just felt so spent after everything that happened. And I also wanted to fix myself first before I tell them everything... it just so happened that I needed the entire weekend to fix myself.

Psalm was waving at me when I entered the room. I waved back, but motioned that I'd sit with Matt and Simon first. Syempre kailangan kong mag-explain. Pinatay ko rin kasi iyong phone ko buong weekend, and told yaya na sabihin na wala ako sa bahay kapag may naghanap sa akin.

Yup. I was good at hiding from people.

"Sorry," was my first word. Tinignan ko nang mabuti iyong mukha ni Matt at Simon, at mukha namang maayos sila dahil wala namang pasa o kung anuman... It seemed like Steele didn't even throw a single punch.

"Okay ka na ba?" Matt asked.

I nodded. "Kinda." I smiled. "Thanks for last time."

"Sorry for being insensitive," Simon said. "Di namin napansin na—"

I dismissed his apology by waving my hand. "Okay lang, grabe kayo. Okay na ako, promise." But their face told me that they didn't believe my words. "Ilang buwan na rin naman kaya medyo okay na talaga ako," I said in my most convincing tone, but they still looked unbelieving.

I sighed. "Galit ba kayo sa 'kin?"

"Just pissed," Simon said.

"But mad at Steele," Matt continued, to which Simon nodded to.

"Kaya nga 'di ko muna sinabi kasi ayoko na ganito 'yung mangyari, e."

"What were you expecting, Jo? That we'll take his side?" Simon asked.

Umiling ako. "No. I don't want anyone taking sides," I carefully explained. "Look, I'd thought about this a lot. Ang mali ni Steele, ang gago niya. Ang mali ko, pumayag ako sa set-up namin kaya wala akong choice kung hindi maging mag-isa. And it's also my fault that I couldn't speak up... that it took you accidentally learning about what happened. But we're both at fault. That's it."

Both of them shook their head. "You don't get it, Jo. The problem here isn't you being his ex. Ang problema dito, bakit niya dinadala si Andrea kung alam niya naman na kasama ka namin lagi?"

Matt looked so pissed. "And it makes me so furious kapag naaalala ko na lagi naming tinutukso si Steele na ang under niya kay Andrea," he said, then apologetically looked at me. "Dude, I'm so fucking sorry," sabi niya sa 'kin.

Napailing na lang ako na nangingiti. "Ano ba kayo, okay lang. You're overthinking this."

"No, we feel fucking guilty," Matt said.

"Kasalanan ko naman kasi 'di ko sinabi," I replied.

"But we're your friends. We're suppose to figure out that something's off," Simon said.

I shrugged. "I guess I'm just good at hiding how I feel..." I said though they hadn't seen me cry for the past few months. Pero hindi naman na nila kailangang malaman. There's no need to rub salt on the wound.

Nag-iisip ako kung paano ko sasabihin sa kanila na kausapin nila si Steele kasi alam mo 'yun? Bago pa nila ako nakilala, kaibigan na nila si Steele. Sayang naman 'yung friendship. At saka alam ko na nadala lang sila sa gulat kahapon kaya nila nagawa 'yun.

Sabi nga, time heals everything.

Someday, I'd be okay.

And in that someday, I hope that our friendship would still be in tact kasi kung hindi, nakaka-lungkot naman.