How To Be A Hoe

36 | Maybe Guy

The first thing that registered when you opened your eyes was the pain.

You gasped, curling your body up, pushing down your lower abdomen with your fist to overcome it, but it did nothing. For a few moments, you simply lay there, blinking and holding your breath in pain, and then the memory hit you.

You barely managed to think past the throbbing in your head, as you remembered the previous night's incidents. Your heartbeat picked up speed as you recalled a memory of Jimin's face, lips half-open in pleasure as his face shone with sweat, your bodies threaded together.

You had sex.

With your very attractive roommate.

You lost your virginity last night.

You squirmed in your position, trying to get your head around it. We fucked, you tried to get used to the idea in your head. We fucked and I was sobbing like a three-year-old for most of it.

You shivered, heat coiling in the pit of your stomach again. Curling your fingers over the blankets, you realised you were half-dressed in an oversized t-shirt, and you felt emotionally drained.

Digging your fingers into your abdomen to overcome the pain, you got up with difficulty and sat up on the bed. Everything inside your head felt like a big, half-melted tub of ice cream—basically, a mess. The clarity in your thoughts from earlier was gone, and you were gasping for air trying to make sense of everything that had happened.

Slowly, you let go of your stomach, hoping that the pain would help clear your thoughts. You pressed your fingertips to the sides of your head, closing your eyes and frowning, trying to organize everything as methodically as possible.

Taehyung cheated. Your stomach did an uncomfortable backflip at that. I walked in on Jimin and Lee, again. I cried. I talked shit. Jimin and I—

"You up?"

You looked up. Jimin was standing in the doorway, looking awkward. Unconsciously, you adjusted the hem of the t-shirt you were wearing, and nodded. He was avoiding your eyes, you noticed. You didn't know much about how people behaved with each other after sex, but you were pretty sure this wasn't normal.

Mea culpa.

"How long have you been up?" You questioned shakily, feeling particularly heartless, unlike your usual self. Standing with much difficulty, you walked to the kitchen.

My fault.

You just wanted to leave, to just not be there, just so that it could mean that no one was in pain. Especially not Jimin, when all he had done was be good to you.

Jimin followed slowly, sliding past you to pick up a glass of water. "Take this." He ignored your question. "There's pills on the counter, if you have a headache."

There was a pause.

He gazed into your eyes as you sat on the counter, his shirt barely reaching your thighs. You rested your palms on the cold metal, licking your lips as you stared at his plump ones, the distance between you mere inches. The muscles in his arms and chest flexed as he leaned forward against the counter, hands on either side of you.

For a moment you stayed that way, nothing but silence and sexual tension between you in the kitchen. You reached up, running the tips of your fingers along the warm, honey like skin of the apple of his cheek, making his eyelashes flutter of his cheeks as his hoods lowered over his eyes. Your hand reached over to stroke his silvery hair, the roots of which were now completely black.

"Jimin." He shivered as you whispered his name, eyes on his lips.

"What are we?" he asked quietly, leaning in to brush his lips softly and slowly against yours. "Kitten?"

Everything about it felt more than a little messed up. You had no idea how to respond to his question. How could you, when you didn't know it yourself? There was no word for what Jimin was to you, at that moment and at all others. Roommate, friend, fuck buddy—an ex-something. An ex-almost. He was your maybe guy, and you were his could-have-been.

You tilted your head up, capturing his lips into a deeper, hungrier kiss before pulling away, tracing the outline of his abs with your fingers. "Does it matter?" you whispered back, heart twisting in your chest.

Jimin smiled bitterly, breathing on the bridge of your nose, tongue flicking over his lips.

"No," he said finally, softly. "I guess it doesn't."

|

The worker looked up as the doors swung open, and another boy walked in.

Jimin's eyes flickered over the interior of the salon as he walked in, hands in his pockets. Catching the eye of the idle worker, he sent a friendly smile in her direction, sitting down on the seat she invited him over to do so.

"Cut?" she questioned.

"Dyed." He licked his lips, making eye contact with himself in the mirror. His reflection looked exactly as he had thought it would—dead and bled dry.

He would have dyed it himself, but he felt inexplicably listless. Maybe lazy was a better word for it. It felt like he had lost all color. All he wanted was to go back to his old life, when he didn't have nice girls to worry about, and when he could look at Taehyung without being overcome with a murderous impulse.

No, he didn't want to care anymore. Maybe, just maybe, if he forced himself to go back to the way he had been, he would get used to it. Perhaps he would even forget about this. A few months ago, he would've thought to use it as a tactic to come across as a troubled guy. Well, he got what he wanted.

"Ah." She nodded understandingly, no doubt reading his expression. "That's why you looked so familiar. You live in the dorms?"

He shook his head no. "I came here with one of your regulars. Taehyung." The name left a bitter taste in his mouth. "Got it dyed silver?"

"Right." He could tell that she didn't remember him. Normally, he would have played the roguishly offended angle, but now he barely paid attention. "So, what's it gonna be this time?"

He looked at his silver hair, remembering the silvery beams moonlight that had entered through the window as you had lay in his arms the previous night. And then, how morning had come with it's glorious gold, and you'd kissed him and told him he didn't matter to you.

"Golden," he said softly, voice tinny to his own ears. "Like the morning sunbeam."

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AND I WAKE UP AND I SEE THIS

LIKE BIATCH WTAF Y'ALL ARE ACTUAL ANGELS I LOVE YOU SO MUCH ❤❤❤