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16

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU ALL X

here is my present to you (an early update)!

He took no time at all to appear. When he came in his hair was still wet from an obvious shower and he was dressed in a white tee-shirt and board shorts. He pulled his wallet and phone out of his back pocket and tossed them onto the table beside the retaining wall and quickly pulled out his chair.

As soon as he sat down he pushed his hair off his face and sighed.

"What's up?" he asked, "What's the big rush?"

"We have a lot of things to talk about," I mumbled.

"Like?" he asked, seemingly rushed. I took a sip of the mocktail I ordered before he got here as he stared me down. The waiter came over at the perfect time to ask us what we wanted to eat.

Before Tristan answered, I responded for him.

"Just the number two for us both thanks," I grinned, handing the waiter the menu. He quickly collected the menus and shuffled off back to the screen to enter the order.

"What?" he questioned me.

"Just trust me okay," I said, noting that I was acting quite a bit weird.

"Anyways," he began, "I read an article about you and your dad today. Will he be okay?"

"No," I shook my head, "He wont be."

"I'm sorry to hear Mae I-"

"Wait, what do you mean you read an article?" I spat.

He pulled out his phone and went on to Instagram where he showed me a photo from Entertainment Weekly's page. There was a photo of Brian and I leaving the hospital earlier this morning as I wore his sunglasses.

"They capture everything huh?" I asked, slightly disheartened.

"They sure do," he said in an apologetic tone.

We created small talk until both of our orders came. Tristan stuck to just drinking water for the entire dinner. We ate in utter silence as things between us had been weird lately.

As soon as we both finished I looked over at the beach and noticed the sun was half down and the sky was a tinge of pink and orange. I took a quick photo with my iPhone and posted it to Instagram in an instant. Tristan placed a wad of money on the table to pay for the dinner.

"Do you want to go for a walk?" he asked, placing his serviette on his plate.

As soon as I looked back into his eyes, he knew my answer was yes. We both quickly got up and walked with each other to the exit of the restaurant that overlooked the beach. I kicked my shoes off into the sand and collected them a second later in my hands.

After a few moments of walking, Tristan ran ahead of me like a puppy into the water and kicked up the small droplets of water at his feet.

"Come in!" he cried, trying to coax me into the water.

I followed him just briefly dipping my toes in when he kicked a wave of water towards me, the tiny droplets of water landing on my arms and neck.

I giggled and threw some wet sand in his direction, which landed directly in the center of his white tee-shirt. He screeched at the sight of the heavy sand falling down his shirt and towards his legs.

He ran over to me and pushed me onto the sand, where I wrestled him in the warmth of the ground.

After a few moments of playful wrestling, we continued walking along the beach with our hands awkwardly touching every few times that our arms swung in opposite directions. We had wet sand practically all over ourselves.

"So, what did you want to talk about?" he asked, looking down to me near his shoulder.

"I wanted to talk about you... and me... I guess."

"About you and me?" he laughed.

I really didn't know how to explain how I felt or what I wanted, or even if I wanted it. I just knew I had to get it off my chest before it was too late.

"I know that I'm making a mistake saying this over and over again, but I don't think I can get over you Tristan. I've tried so many times but somehow I just keep coming back to you," I softly said. He turned to me and suddenly the moment had become a lot more serious.

"Mae... I don't know how to love you anymore."

I didn't speak.

"Every time it works out or something goes right, we just fade away to grey every time. It's like we want it but then when we have it we both can't fight for each other," he croaked. We stopped walking and were now just facing each other, a mile up on the beach from the restaurant. 

"This is what I'm doing now Tristan, I am fighting for you."

He turned and looked up the beach as he thought of something to say.

"The further this goes on Mae, the more we end up hurting each other and the more we just confuse ourselves," he softly spoke. I looked into his eyes and my own started to well up.

"We can't keep doing this Mae," he said, taking his hand off my arm and continuing to walk away from me up the beach. I stared at his back and considered every feeling I have ever felt and whether or not he was worth it. Whether or not this was worth it.

I ran and grabbed his arm, turning him back towards me. I quickly grabbed his jaw and closed my lips on his. Tears streamed down my cheek as I felt his lips relax on mine. He was all that I wanted in that moment.

His hands slowly stopped at my back and they both widely spread up the middle of my back. The wind blew my hair everywhere, making it near impossible to stay in this moment.

I placed my left hand on his jaw and my right hand in his hair. It was moments like this I had missed for the better half of a year.

He pulled away after a moment or two.

"I will fight for you Mae, but you have to fight back," he argued with me still in his arms. I nodded and the silence grew between us again.

We continued to walk up the beach until we made it back to my hotel room, where we said a quick goodbye and went our separate ways. I couldn't help wondering what on earth he meant about me having to fight for him.

im sorry im such a shit writer omg